Thursday, November 19, 2009

Welcome to 2009 Week 11 of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where our Lock is actually sort of becoming, well … a Lock.

The Hoser came back to earth Week 10. After a three-week run of 25-13-1 against the spread, we were just 7-8 ATS and 9-6 straight up. Oakland cost us the Trifecta, but San Diego came through on the Lock again, which made us money for the week. Dare we make it three weeks in a row?

The Browns gave up a touchdown to Baltimore this week while having just 10 men on defense. The NFL will make it right, however, by allowing the Browns to play with 12 guys on the field on offense for the remainder of the season. They figure it won’t matter anyway.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as treating Kansas football coach Mark Mangino to lunch.

Miami (+3) at CAROLINA [42.5]: The Dolphins placed running back Ronnie Brown on injured reserve, which means fellow RB Ricky Williams will have to roll. Fortunately, he’s used to it. Panthers 26, Dolphins 17.

Cleveland (+3.5) at DETROIT [38.5]: The former home of the Lions, the Pontiac Silverdome, was sold this week. The possibility of demolishing the stadium still looms, but it’s unclear whether the new owners will allow Detroit to put the Lions inside when the charges go off. Lions 23, Browns 14.

Buffalo (+8.5) at JACKSONVILLE [42.5]: We’re not sure how Titans owner Bud Adams can be fined $250,000 for flipping the bird when the Bills themselves have been doing the same thing to their own fans for years. Jaguars 24, Bills 14.

Pittsburgh (-10) at KANSAS CITY [40]: If you’re in the K.C. area, skip the game and go eat some ribs at Gates & Sons. Steelers 27, Chiefs 13.

Indianapolis (-1) at BALTIMORE [44.5]: Why is this line so low? Are Art Donovan and Tony Siragusa suiting up for the Ravens? Colts 24, Ravens 17.

Atlanta (+6.5) at NY GIANTS [46.5]: We’re rooting for the Falcons just to see if Tom Coughlin’s face turns a deeper red then it was against the Packers last year. Giants 23, Falcons 20.

San Francisco (+6.5) at GREEN BAY [42.5]: If the Packers held Dallas to seven points, they should be able to take the 49ers into negatives. Packers 26, 49ers 16.

Seattle (+11) at MINNESOTA [46]: Weren’t people saying before the season that the Vikings didn’t have the receivers for Brett Favre? Vikings 27, Seahawks 17.

Washington (+11) at DALLAS [41.5]: If Washington can get the Cowboys to fall for five or six of those nifty fake field goal/punt combos, they might have a chance. Cowboys 27, Racists 17.

New Orleans (-11) at TAMPA BAY [51]: There have been comments that the Saints’ offense hasn’t looked up to speed the last few weeks – which means they’ll only score 30+ on Tampa Bay. Saints 34, Buccaneers 20.

Arizona (-9) at ST LOUIS [46.5]: The Cardinals return to their old stomping grounds, by which we mean they got stomped there a lot. Cardinals 27, Rams 20.

NY Jets (+10.5) at NEW ENGLAND [45]: After all the flack he’s gotten this week, we wouldn’t be surprised if Patriots head coach Bill Belichick had trouble deciding between the soup or salad. Patriots 27, Jets 17.

Cincinnati (-9.5) at OAKLAND [36]: We don’t think the Bengals signing K.C. castoff Larry Johnson is a bad idea. We just hope the Cincy city council has more money to appropriate for battered women’s shelters. Bengals 31, Raiders 13.

San Diego (+3) at DENVER [45]: We’ve looked at this three or four times. The Broncos are the favourite here exactly why? Chargers 26, Broncos 20.

Philadelphia (-3) at CHICAGO [45]: Many thanks to Bears QB Jay Cutler for his help in recycling. Altering our existing “Man, is Jake Delhomme inaccurate!” jokes will save thousands of trees. Eagles 26, Bears 21.

Tennessee (+4.5) at HOUSTON [48]: Kids everywhere will be asking for Bud Adams’s new hit single, “The (Double) Bird Is The Word.” Titans 31, Texans 23.

Lock of the Week: Indianapolis
Trifecta: San Diego, Green Bay, Indianapolis

2009 Week 10 Hoser Picks:
Straight Up: 9-6
Against The Spread: 7-8
Lock of the Week: 1-0
Trifecta: 0-1
Money: $220

2009 Season Hoser Picks
Straight Up: 100-42
Against The Spread: 79-64-1
Lock of the Week: 5-5
Trifecta: 3-7
Money: $1,710

2009 Week 10 Money Spent: $0
2009 Week 10 Money Made: $0
2009 Season Money Spent: $185
2009 Season Money Made: $200
2009 Total: $15

The Hoser’s format: Each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta and a $500 Lock of the Week. We’ll use Danny Sheridan’s line in the USA Today each week.

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