Sunday, December 28, 2008

Oakland (+13) at TAMPA BAY -- O/U 39: Tampa Bay 27, Oakland 16
Detroit (+11) at GREEN BAY -- O/U 43: Detroit 20, Green Bay 19
Dallas (+1.5) at PHILADELPHIA -- O/U 42.5: Eagles 22, Cowboys 19.
New York Giants (+7) at MINNESOTA -- O/U 41.5: Vikings 23, Giants 17.
Chicago (+2.5) at HOUSTON -- O/U 47: Bears 23, Texans 21.
Carolina (-1.5) at NEW ORLEANS -- O/U 51.5: Panthers 31, Saints 27.
St. Louis (+14) at ATLANTA -- O/U 44.5: Falcons 33, Rams 16.
Kansas City (-3) at CINCINNATI -- O/U 38.5: Bengals 21, Chiefs 17.
Jacksonville (+11) at BALTIMORE -- O/U 37.5: Ravens 26, Jaguars 16.
Tennessee (-2.5) at INDIANAPOLIS -- O/U 39: Colts 26, Titans 22.
Cleveland (+11) at PITTSBURGH -- O/U 34: Steelers 20, Browns 7.
Miami (+3) at NEW YORK JETS -- O/U 43: Dolphins 27, Jets 23.
New England (-5.5) at BUFFALO -- O/U 43.5: Patriots 29, Bills 13.
Seattle (+6.5) at ARIZONA -- O/U 46: Cardinals 24, Seahawks 23.
Washington (+3) at SAN FRANCISCO -- O/U 37.5: 49ers 19, Racists 14.
Denver (+8) at SAN DIEGO -- O/U 50.5: Chargers 31, Broncos 30.

Lock of the Week: Detroit
Trifecta: Detroit, Miami, Denver

Friday, December 19, 2008

Welcome to Week 16 of the 2008 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where we’re wondering how long someone's father could really be stuck dead in the chimney without the family figuring out where he was.

The Hoser went 10-6 straight up and 8-6-2 against the spread in Week 14. We bet Tennessee would rebound in the Lock, however. Not so much.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as booking an appointment with Rod Blagojevich's hair stylist. Merry Christmas, helmet head!

Baltimore (+4.5) at DALLAS -- O/U 39: With both Terrell Owens and Ray Lewis in this game, we'll have to stockpile twice the number of rolled-up socks to throw at the TV. Cowboys 23, Ravens 16.

Pittsburgh (-1.5) at TENNESSEE -- O/U 34.5: From undefeated to underdog -- and deservedly so.

Miami (-4) at KANSAS CITY -- O/U 39.5: It's bad when the most interesting thing happening in Kansas City is whether the boss is quitting or not. Dolphins 23, Chiefs 13.

Arizona (+8) at NEW ENGLAND -- O/U 45.5: Now here's a situation the Cards are used to -- a late-season game with no meaning for them. Patriots 26, Cardinals 20.

Cincinnati (+3) at CLEVELAND -- O/U 32: President Bush has now declared Ohio an official NFL disaster area. Browns 19, Bengals 13.

Philadelphia (-5) at WASHINGTON -- O/U 39: There was a point this season when Jim Zorn was considered an up-and-coming genius, wasn't there? Eagles 31, Racists 17.

San Francisco (-5.5) at ST LOUIS -- O/U 43.5: Mike Singletary has sewn up his job, and Jim Haslett probably doesn't want his. 49ers 24, Rams 20.

Atlanta (+3) at MINNESOTA -- O/U 43.5: Think the Falcons will take Michael Vick back at quarterback? Falcons 21, Vikings 20.

New Orleans (-7) at DETROIT -- O/U 51: Nope, not this week either. Saints 30, Lions 20.

Carolina (+3) at NY GIANTS -- O/U 37.5: Without Brandon and Plaxico, the Giants don't have a shot in the leg. Dark. Sorry. Panthers 21, Giants 20.

NY Jets (-4.5) at SEATTLE -- O/U 43.5: Has anyone ever been as happy to leave an NFL head coaching job as Mike Holmgren probably is? Jets 27, Seahawks 16.

Houston (-7.5) at OAKLAND -- O/U 44: The high point to the Raiders' season was ... well, there really was no high point. Texans 23, Raiders 16.

Buffalo (+7) at DENVER -- O/U 45: Auto workers are losing their jobs and Dick Jauron just got an extension? Broncos 29, Bills 13.

San Diego (+3) at TAMPA BAY -- O/U 43: The Buccaneers really need this game. The Chargers really need ... a lot. Buccaneers 22, Chargers 17.

Green Bay (+4.5) at CHICAGO -- O/U 41: The Packers are still playing? Bears 26, Packers 19.

Lock of the Week: Denver

Trifecta: Denver, Carolina, Philadelphia

Week 15 Results:

Straight Up: 10-6

Against The Spread: 8-6-2

Lock of the Week: 0-1

Trifecta: 0-1

Money Banked: $-240

Season Results:

Straight Up: 142-82

Against The Spread: 107-101-6

Lock of the Week: 9-6

Trifecta: 0-15

Money Count: $-2,370

Monday, December 15, 2008

So far this week, we're 9-6 straight up and 7-6-2 against the spread. We've already blown the Lock and the Trifecta.

We also haven't updated in a while:

Season Results:

Straight Up: 141-82

Against The Spread: 106-101-6

Lock of the Week: 9-6

Trifecta: 0-15

Money Count: $-2,390

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Just the picks again -- Christmas crazy!

Green Bay Packers (-2½) at JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS -- O/U 46½: Jaguars 24, Packers 21.
Detroit Lions (+17) at INDIANAPOLIS COLTS -- O/U 45½: Colts 33, Lions 20.
Washington Redskins (-7) at CINCINNATI BENGALS -- O/U 36: Racists 20, Bengals 16.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+3) at ATLANTA FALCONS -- O/U 44½: I believe in Brian Griese. Buccaneers 21, Falcons 20.
San Francisco 49ers (+6) at MIAMI DOLPHINS -- O/U 41½: I also believe in Mike Singletary ... but not that much. Dolphins 21, 49ers 17.
Seattle Seahawks (-2½) at ST LOUIS RAMS -- O/U 42½: The Dog Bowl. Seahawks 26, Rams 17.
Buffalo Bills (+7½) at NEW YORK JETS -- O/U 41½: Jets 20, Bills 16.
Tennessee Titans (-3) at HOUSTON TEXANS -- O/U 45: Just a field goal? Titans 27, Texans 23.
Pittsburgh Steelers (+2½) at BALTIMORE RAVENS -- O/U 34: Ravens 20, Steelers 16.
Denver Broncos (+7½) at CAROLINA PANTHERS -- O/U 47½: Panthers 31, Broncos 24.
San Diego Chargers (-5½) at KANSAS CITY CHIEFS -- O/U 45: Chiefs 24, Chargers 23.
Minnesota Vikings (+3) at ARIZONA CARDINALS -- O/U 47: Cardinals 29, Vikings 23.
New England Patriots (-7) at OAKLAND RAIDERS -- O/U 39½: Patriots 24, Raiders 20.
New York Giants (+3) at DALLAS COWBOYS -- O/U 46: No Brandon Jacobs? Ut ohhhhh. Cowboys 23, Giants 21.
Cleveland Browns (+14) at PHILADELPHIA EAGLES -- O/U 38½: Can you have a two TD spread in a 38-point game? Eagles 27, Browns 14.

Lock of the Week: Tennessee
Trifecta: Tennessee, Jacksonville, Tampa Bay

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Just the scores this week -- Christmas rush. Got the San Diego game earlier!

Cincinnati (+13.5) at INDIANAPOLIS COLTS -- O/U 41.5: Indianapolis 31, Cincinnati 13.
Jacksonville (+7) at CHICAGO -- O/U 40.5: Chicago 20, Jacksonville 16.
Houston (+6) at GREEN BAY -- O/U 47.5: Green Bay 21, Houston 17.
Cleveland (+14) at TENNESSEE -- O/U 36.5: Tennessee 27, Cleveland 17.
Minnesota (-11.5) at DETROIT LIONS -- O/U 46: Minnesota 30, Detroit 20.
Washington (+5.5) at BALTIMORE RAVENS -- O/U 35: Baltimore 23, Washington 17.
Philadelphia (+7) at NEW YORK GIANTS -- O/U 42.5: New York Giants 26, Philadelphia 23.
Atlanta (+3) at NEW ORLEANS -- O/U 51.5: Atlanta 27, New Orleans 24.
New York Jets (-3.5) @ SAN FRANCISCO -- O/U 45: New York Jets 23, San Francisco 21.
Miami (+1) at BUFFALO -- O/U 42.5: Miami 20, Buffalo 14.
Kansas City (+9) at DENVER -- O/U 48.5: Denver 36, Kansas City 23.
St. Louis (+14) at ARIZONA -- O/U 48.5: Arizona 34, St. Louis 17.
Dallas (+3) at PITTSBURGH -- O/U 39: Pittsburgh 19, Cowboys 14.
New England (-6.5) at SEATTLE -- O/U 43: New England 27, Seattle 17.
Tampa Bay (+3) at CAROLINA -- O/U 38.5: Carolina 21, Tampa Bay 17.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

By now we’ve all read or heard or seen National Hockey League forward Sean Avery’s amazingly insulting comment about his former girlfriends and their NHL beaus.

Avery has been suspended indefinitely by the league, as he should have been. Gamesmanship is one thing, but seeking out the camera to deliver personal swipes is crossing the line.

This is what we expect from Avery, a mildly talented buffoon who has spent his career being sought and then rejected. Now on his fourth team, he comes in and makes himself welcome by aggravating the opposition, but eventually wears out his welcome with his attention-whoring ways.

And yet franchises continue to hire him and the public continues to enable his behaviour. He gets paid – and very well – to be a jerk.

So if Avery, who has managed to pile up all of 177 points in 402 career games, isn’t the problem, who is?

We are.

We, the hockey-loving public, who continue to mouth platitudes about how it’s necessary to have a “character” guy on a winning team – we’re to blame.

No team on which Avery has played has advanced past the second round of the playoffs. He did play 36 games for the Red Wings in their run to the Stanley Cup in 2001-02, but he was deemed expendable and left off the postseason roster. The next season, same deal.

And “character” is an interesting word. If a guy is wearing your rival’s jersey and he makes remarks about someone’s bout with cancer, he’s a complete tool. But if he does it in your team’s sweater, he’s a “character” guy.

No, he isn’t. He’s just a tool whose parents did a poor job raising him.

The NHL is.

The league inadvertently protected Avery by suspending him before he could take the ice against Calgary on Tuesday. Had he played, Avery would have faced Dion Phaneuf (who is dating one of Avery’s ex-girlfriends) and the rest of the Flames, who would have been likely to run him repeatedly.

Or perhaps they wouldn’t have. The NHL is also protecting Avery and other idiots like him by keeping the instigator rule, which penalizes those who would ask Avery to back up his mouth with two fists.

The rule was created with good intentions, but instead has allowed a proliferation of headhunting, boarding and other chippy play to go unpunished. That’s ridiculous, and it’s going to get a superstar’s career ended.

Drop the rule and let the players police themselves, NHL – they’ll do a far better job than you have.

The hockey media is.

Was there really any reason to even talk with Avery?

Is he an integral part of the Stars’ game plan coming into Tuesday night’s contest? At 10 points (and 77 penalty minutes) through 23 games, no, he isn’t.

But the media knows Avery has a big mouth and either isn’t afraid to use it or is too stupid to know when to keep it shut. So the cameras and the recorders come out when he deigns to speak.

It's lazy and it's not journalism -- it's lowest common denominator junk. Use better judgment, media types. You know the difference between news and tripe, and so do we.

If you stop giving Avery a platform to spout his garbage, he’ll wither and die like the weed he is.

And we’ll all be the better for it.