Thursday, July 14, 2011

Here at The Hoser, we're starting to ramp up for the start of the NFL season -- well, if there is one -- but for now, here's a little Mayer Hawthorne goodness to enjoy:

Mayer on Live At Daryl's House

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

There's been quite a bit of backslapping going on over the NHL's (and temp discipline honcho Mike Murphy's) four-game suspension of Vancouver's Aaron Rome after he concussed Boston's Nathan Horton in Game Three of the Stanley Cup Finals.

It's been pointed out only three players have ever been suspended during the Finals, and each of them received a single game. Of course, I haven't taken the time to see if any of those players intentionally attempted (and succeeded) in removing one of their opponents' most valuable pieces for the remainder of the postseason, and in any case, I don't think using the NHL's terrible history of disciplining its players in the measuring stick to use.

So forgive me if I don't think the Canucks losing some schlub that doesn't even appear on the depth chart matches up properly with the Bruins losing Horton. In fact, I bet there are some Vancouver fans out there who think this is a pretty good trade -- we lose Rome, they lose a player with 17 points in the postseason.

How to square things?

Pretty simple. Let's go back to the depth charts.

According to the Boston chart, Horton is the top-line right winger. For Vancouver, that's Jannik Hansen. So in addition to Rome, the NHL should remove Hansen for the remainder of the Finals.

That's not really even enough -- as Hansen has had nowhere near the impact Horton has -- but it's a start. It sends the message that taking a shot at an opponent's head doesn't just mean one of your idiots sits. It means you lose a piece arguably as valuable as the one you took out.

As another example, you can decide whether Washington's David Steckel or Tampa Bay's Victor Hedman gave Sidney Crosby the concussion that sidelined him for most of this season. But do you think either of those players would have done what they did knowing Alexander Ovechkin or Steven Stamkos would sit as long as Crosby?

Would it be fair to either Ovy or Stamkos to have to sit? Of course not. But is it fair to any player to have their health and livelihood threatened by some moron who doesn't care about his fellow player's well-being?

Under my system, I'm betting coaches might be a bit more interested in making sure their players aren't out headhunting. They might not even put those meatheads on the ice in the first place.

And that would definitely be worthy of a little backslapping all around.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Just the scores -- have you ever tried typing paragraphs on a Blackberry?

NY Jets (+3.5) at PITTSBURGH (43): We have our fingers (and toes) crossed for Sexy Rexy. Steelers 23, Jets 20.

Green Bay (-3.5) at CHICAGO (38): There's a better chance you'd find an honest politician in The Windy City than a victory party on Sunday night. Packers 27, Bears 13.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Whether you view us as extremely lucky or Nostradamus, The Hoser scored a nice hit in calling the Seahawks over the Saints straight up last week. We hit both the upsets, but the Chiefs failed us and the Jets, well, they did to us what they always do to us. We were 3-1 straight up and 2-2 against the spread, but Green Bay was our Lock of the Week.

Baltimore (+3.5) at PITTSBURGH (37): It's hard for The Hoser not to be influenced by how much he detests Ray Lewis. Not the football player, just the obnoxious, preening jackass he is. Seriously, have you seen the NFL Network's "Sound FX" show on him? He's like an idiot parrot -- "It's a MAN'S GAME, BABY!!!" -- over and over and over again.
Fortunately, we think the Steelers come out on top here again. Ben Roethlisberger seems to find a way to make it work in big games -- too bad we can't say the same for the ladies and motorcycle helmets. However, with the strong defenses and the cold, Baltimore will keep it within a field goal. Steelers 23, Ravens 20.

Green Bay (+2.5) at ATLANTA (43.5): How do you pick against Matt Ryan and the Falcons at home? Well, you do it like this.
The Packers have had a passing game all season (except when Aaron Rodgers was seeing Tweetybirds for a week or two). They've now got James Starks to compliment that aerial assault. Green Bay can run wide open if it wants, something the Falcons just can't do.
Atlanta beat the Packers by just a field goal a few weeks ago, but Rodgers had double the rushing yardage of anyone else on the team and still threw for more than 300 yards. Book Green Bay for the Super Bowl. Packers 24, Falcons 20.

Seattle (+10) at CHICAGO (41): Everyone's been asking us all week -- can the Seahawks do it again? Well, yes, they can. They're hopped up off a huge win, they're getting their running game going, and frankly, the Bears just aren't that good.
But being away from home means the loss of a big advantage for the Seahawks. The wild card here is Jay Cutler, who looks like Dan Marino one week and Foster Brooks the next. We expect Mike Martz to do the right thing and hand the ball to Matt Forte a whole bunch.
It'll be cold, just enough to make it tough to kick long field goal and maybe cause a fumble or two. That'll keep the score within the big spread, but it also means the end of Seattle season. Bears 19, Seahawks 17.

New York Jets (+9) at NEW ENGLAND (44.5): We grudgingly admire Bill Belichick and the Patriots at the same time we hate them. What other franchise does such an amazing job reloading every season? How do they make it work shuffling in defensive replacements and 85 different running backs? C'mon, Danny Woodhead?!?
At the same time, we hate the Jets, but we love Rex Ryan. The big mouth, the foot fetish, the comical gut -- bring it on. He's lovable and entertaining.
But this really boils down to trying to figure out how New York can possibly slow down Tom Brady. Do you really think he and Belichick can be beaten by a team led by Mark Sanchez?
They can't, and they won't be. Patriots 26, Jets 19.

Lock of the Week: Seattle

Saturday, January 08, 2011

Yes, we know we've been slacking -- it was the holiday season, give us a break.

New Orleans (-10) at SEATTLE (45): We really wish this was just a half-point higher. All week we've had this weird feeling about the Seahawks -- tough home crowd, coming off an emotional win, finding their running game and perhaps a new leader in Clipboard Jesus. But this will be a closer game than people expect, and damn it, we're taking Seattle. Seahawks 22, Saints 20.

New York Jets (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS (44.5): We're still pissed about the coverage of the whole Rex Ryan foot fetish thing. Christ, people, the guy likes feet and he loves his wife. Given the divorce rate in this country, better than half of you should be so lucky. Colts 24, Jets 17.

Baltimore (-2.5) at KANSAS CITY (40.5): We have $10 on a 100-1 ticket for the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl. That's not going to happen, and they probably won't even get past the Ravens. And here we were going to take all 12 of you regular readers to the Wynn buffet with the winnings. Ravens 20, Chiefs 19.

Green Bay (+2.5) at PHILADELPHIA (46.5): The Packers will blitz the hell out of Michael Vick and despite his ability to run, he won't be able to target receivers. Take the points. Packers 26, Eagles 23.

Lock of the Week: Green Bay