Welcome to Week Six of the 2008 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where we’re distracted by the opening of the hockey season – go Blues!

The Hoser again hovered at the .500 mark, going 7-7 straight up and 6-7-1 against the spread. Tennessee gave us the Lock of the Week, but we blew the Trifecta. Still, the Lock gave us a positive week at +$160. We’ll be sure to buy that Benz we’ve had our eye on.

Congratulations to Dallas CB Adam “Pacman” Jones, who managed to get into a fight with his own security guard at the same time NFL commissioner Roger Goddell was in town to talk with the Cowboys. If they really want to straighten this out, just have Jones square off with Seth Petruzelli.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as renting Adam Sandler’s DVD. Trust us – it should have been called You Needn’t Bother With The Zohan.

Oakland (+7.5) at NEW ORLEANS – O/U 47.5: This week, Reggie Bush will also be selling popcorn and beer while the defense is on the field. Saints 26, Raiders 23.

Baltimore (+4.5) at INDIANAPOLIS – O/U 38.5: The Ravens have named Joe Flacco as their starting QB for the remainder of the season. As opposed to one guy who apparently got the ebola virus and another who is … Kyle Boller. Colts 26, Ravens 10.

Cincinnati (+6) at NEW YORK JETS – O/U 45: If you look up “mismatch” in the dictionary, we assume it gives Ryan Fitzpatrick vs. Brett Favre as the definition. Jets 31, Bengals 21.

Carolina (+1.5) at TAMPA BAY – O/U 37: Are we wrong, or is head coach Jon Gruden younger than every key contributor on his own team? Buccaneers 22, Panthers 17.

Detroit (+13) at MINNESOTA – O/U 46: We appreciate the Vikings being concerned for Gus Frerotte’s health, but we don’t think installing Bouncy Castles in front of all the stadium walls was totally necessary. Vikings 27, Lions 16.

Chicago (-2.5) at ATLANTA – O/U 43.5: Marketing idea – every time the Bears win, the city sets the Chicago River on fire! Bears 27, Falcons 14.

Miami (+3) at HOUSTON – O/U 45: The Dolphins have already doubled their win total from last season. Time to let the Texans get on the board. Texans 24, Dolphins 17.

St. Louis (+14) at WASHINGTON – O/U 44: Hey, Marc Bulger’s back! Racists 33, Rams 14.

Jacksonville (+3) at DENVER – O/U 48.5: Ut oh … the Broncos have a defense! Broncos 24, Jags 20.

Philadelphia (-5) at SAN FRANCISCO – O/U 43: Some Eagles fans reacted badly to quarterback Donovan McNabb’s blog entry about his embarrassment with the team’s play. Other were just surprised some Philly fans can read. Eagles 22, 49ers 20.

Dallas Cowboys (-5) at ARIZONA – O/U 49.5: Cardinals WR Anquan Boldin has a fractured sinus, and there was some question whether he might play this week. Man, we take off work when we get 7-UP bubbles up our nose. Cowboys 31, Cardinals 24.

Green Bay (+2) at SEATTLE – O/U 47: Aaron Rodgers will be ready. Matt Hasselbeck is out. The Seahawks totally blow. Packers 30, Seahawks 13.

New England (+6) at SAN DIEGO – O/U 44.5: Extra credit to any reader who PVRs this game, then sets it to Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin’.” Chargers 24, Patriots 17.

New York Giants (-7.5) at CLEVELAND – O/U 43: Just more than a touchdown? Are the Browns really that much better than Seattle? Giants 33, Browns 17.

Lock of the Week: Green Bay
Trifecta: Green Bay, Chicago, Indianapolis
Over/Under Good Buys: Dallas/Arizona Over

Week Five Results:

Straight Up: 7-7

Against The Spread: 6-7-1

Lock of the Week: 1-0

Trifecta: 0-1

Money Banked: $+160

Season Results:

Straight Up: 46-28

Against The Spread: 31-27-3

Lock of the Week: 2-3

Trifecta: 0-5

Money Count: $-1,140

The Hoser’s format: The format will stay as it has been for the past two seasons – each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta and a $300 Lock of the Week for an even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we’ll jump the Lock to $500 to keep the number even. We’ll use Danny Sheridan’s line in the USA Today each week.