Friday, June 16, 2006

Congratulations to Jay-Z on creating about a billion dollars worth of publicity for the makers of Cristal.

The apparently illiterate hip-hop mogul issued this announcement recently:

"It has come to my attention that the managing director of Cristal, Frederic Rouzaud, views the 'hip-hop' culture as 'unwelcome attention.' I view his comments as racist and will no longer support any of his products through any of my various brands including the 40/40 Club nor in my personal life."

Of course, it wasn't Rouzard who used the words "unwelcome attention" in an article entitled "Bubbles and Bling" in The Economist. It was actually the author of the piece, Gideon Rachman, who used that phrase.

For whatever reason, the article seems to have disappeared of the magazine's web site, so here's the direct quote from Rouzard, who was asked if the link between his product and hip-hop was beneficial.

"That's a good question, but what can we do? We can't forbid people from buying it. I'm sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business."

Rouzard also said his organization viewed the hip-hop connection with "curiosity and serenity." Doesn't exactly sound racist, does it?

What's most wonderful about all of this is a whole new audience of potential Cristal drinkers may hear about the product as a result of Jay-Z's overreaction. I mean, how many upper-class whites are down with "Can't Knock the Hustle" and "Brooklyn's Finest"?

By the way, here's a line or two from another alcohol-soaked track, "Dead Presidents II":

My doe flip like Tae-Kwon, Jay-Z the Icon
Baby, you like Dom, maybe this Cristal's to change your life huh.


Now how could a multinational corporation not be excited about being associated with that?

This could also work out well for Mr. Zed, though. It's a chance for him to hook himself up with a whole new target audience by dropping the name of some other beverage.

Perhaps Milwaukee's Best, or Mad Dog ... or even Tang:

I be pullin' mad knots with my posse and my gang
Developin' a thirst and I'm searchin' for the Tang.


That even has a nice double entendre, something I'm sure every ho out there would appreciate.

In any event, I fully expect Shawn Cater (his real name -- how does he get Jay-Z out of that?) to apologize at some point and start pimping Cristal again. That, and perhaps also bust a cap in the ass of his publicist.

4 comments:

ufez said...

In his neighborhood, Carter was known as "Jazzy," a nickname which eventually developed into his stage name, "Jay-Z." The moniker is also a homage to his musical partner Jaz-O (a.k.a. the Jaz, Big Jaz) as well as to the J-Z subway lines that run through Brooklyn and Manhattan.

God bless Wikipedia!

Wayne Frazer said...

See, that makes total sense. Now, what is this wikipedia of which you speak?

ufez said...

Surely you jest?

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