Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Welcome to Week Ten of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where we’re hotter right now than a turkey in a deep fryer.

The Hoser staff knocked it out of the park for the second week in a row, rolling up an incredible 11-2 record against the spread and a 10-3 mark straight up. That’s terrific, but even with a sparkling 20-6 run ATS during the past two weeks, we’re now sitting at exactly .500 for the season. Ouch.

Of course, it can’t all be peaches and cream, and the Patriots falling asleep against the Browns cost us the Lock of the Week and our Trifecta. Still, we managed to pick up a couple hundred bucks towards the deep hole we’ve dug ourselves – now we’re just a little more than $2,000 in the red. Can a brother get some stimulus package?

Wade Phillips finally got the axe in Dallas, where Jerry Jones’s patience had worn thinner than his lips. Front-runners for the job are Jon Gruden and Bill Cowher, although we fully expect Jones to make an offer to Robert Benigni – he’s already been Pinocchio once.

Tune in next week for our annual haiku edition, or ...

It comes once a year
Your chance to channel your muse
So get your poem on!

... and we’re going to have a contest to boot! Pick the game from Week 11 you’re surest about, then write it up in haiku form along with your prediction of the score and post it either in the comments section of this blog or in The Hoser’s thread on The person coming closest to the actual score of the game they picked will receive a framed piece of their favourite NFL player courtesy of The Hoser and The IceBox Cards & Collectibles in Barrie, ON!

Contest entries must be posted either on SportsFilter or this blog in the comments section by Sunday, Nov. 21 by 12:59 EST to be considered. Entries must be a valid haiku (5/7/5 form) and have a complete prediction to be considered.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as trying to fit “Nantucket” in your haiku.

Baltimore (+1.5) at ATLANTA (43.5): It’s just a hunch, but we think Joe Flacco will go Whacco this week. Ravens 26, Falcons 20.

Cincinnati (+8) at INDIANAPOLIS (46.5): You get the feeling the Colts could sign three homeless guys outside Lucas Oil Stadium and Peyton Manning would throw each of them a TD pass. Colts 29, Bengals 22.

Houston (+1.5) at JACKSONVILLE (50): Most of the stat geeks have this as a dead heat. They’re almost right. Jaguars 27, Texans 24.

Tennessee (PK) at MIAMI (41.5): Chad Pennington alert! Chad Pennington alert! Be on the lookout for tons of dump offs, screens and ducks. Titans 23, Dolphins 19.

Minnesota (-1) at CHICAGO (40): Take the Vikings – Chicago could still be suffering poutine withdrawal. Vikings 22, Bears 16.

Detroit (+3) at BUFFALO (42.5): Apparently, not a lot of faith out there in Drew Stanton. Bills 22, Lions 17.

New York Jets (-3) at CLEVELAND (37): Peyton Hillis and two draft picks for Brady Quinn? That’s 10-20 years behind bars in some states. Jets 19, Browns 17.

Carolina (+8) at TAMPA BAY (37): Okay, so the Bucs aren’t the best team in the conference – but they’re sure better than the Panthers. Buccaneers 22, Panthers 16.

Kansas City (-1) at DENVER (42): Thinking about the Broncos makes us feel like we just got off the Tilt-A-Whirl. Chiefs 23, Broncos 13.

St. Louis (+6) at SAN FRANCISCO (38): The good news is, pretty soon Mike Singletary will be able to hook up with Wade Phillips for two-for-one specials at Old Country Buffet. 49ers 17, Rams 16.

Seattle (+3) at ARIZONA (41): Shut it down! Cardinals 22, Seahawks 14.

Dallas (+13.5) at NY GIANTS (44.5): We’ll miss the facial expressions Wade Phillips’s made on the sideline, but you’d do it too if your boss’s whole arm was up your ass all week. Giants 31, Cowboys 20.

New England (+4) at PITTSBURGH (43.5): We have no good read on this game, but it seems like a field goal at most – even at Heinz Field. Steelers 23, Patriots 20.

Philadelphia (-3) at WASHINGTON (41.5): The Hoser would be pleased if somehow both these teams could lose. Eagles 24, Racists 17.

Lock of the Week: Jacksonville

Trifecta: Kansas City, Baltimore, Jacksonville

2010 Week Nine Hoser Picks:
Straight Up: 10-3
Against The Spread: 11-2
Lock of the Week: 0-1
Trifecta: 0-1
Money: $280

2010 Season Hoser Picks
Straight Up: 79-53
Against The Spread: 62-62-8
Lock of the Week: 3-6
Trifecta: 1-8
Money: $-2,190

2010 Week 9 Money Spent: $25
2010 Week 9 Money Made: $0
2010 Season Money Spent: $125
2010 Season Money Made: $50
2010 Total: $-75

The format will stay as it has been – each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta (6:1 odds) and a $300 Lock of the Week for an even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we’ll jump the Lock to $500 to keep the number even. We’ll use Danny Sheridan’s line in the USA Today each week.

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