tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-144541082024-03-13T16:18:21.444-04:00From Hoosier To HoserThe ramblings and complaints of a newly minted Canadian, plus plenty of rants related to sports, music and whatever else irks me.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.comBlogger303125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-66139651716864934982023-09-22T10:48:00.001-04:002023-09-22T10:48:23.006-04:00The Hoser on the NFL, 2023 Week Three Edition<p>I'm a little late, but scores were posted at http://www.2nspl.com/index.html, so I'm not making up the Thursday score.<br /></p><div class="x1lliihq xjkvuk6 x1iorvi4"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto" lang="en"><div class="xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">San Francisco 30, NY Giants 17</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">LA Chargers 24, Minnesota 23</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Tennessee 19, Cleveland 16</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Jacksonville 30, Houston 16</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">NY Jets 23, Patriots 21</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">New Orleans 22, Green Bay 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Miami 34, Denver 23</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Buffalo 27, Washington 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Detroit 29, Atlanta 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Baltimore 30, Indianapolis 16</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Carolina 22, Seattle 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Dallas 31, Arizona 14</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Kansas City 34, Chicago 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Las Vegas 23, Pittsburgh 21</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Philadelphia 24, Tampa Bay 23</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">LA Rams 30, Cincinnati 20</div></div></span></div>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-27891293850487657032023-09-17T13:00:00.007-04:002023-09-17T13:00:51.597-04:00The Hoser On The NFL, 2023 Week Two<p>Crazy week preparing for podcast hits and hosting a dinner with a HHOFer - just the picks and will update totals next week.<br /></p><div class="x1lliihq xjkvuk6 x1iorvi4"><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u" dir="auto" lang="en"><div class="xdj266r x11i5rnm xat24cr x1mh8g0r x1vvkbs"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">LA Chargers 26, Tennessee 17</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Green Bay 24, Atlanta 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Houston 20, Indianapolis 19</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;"><a tabindex="-1"></a>Detroit 31, Seattle 17</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Chicago 20, Tampa Bay 17</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Buffalo 29, Las Vegas 22.</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Kansas City 30, Jacksonville 27</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Baltimore 27, Cincinnati 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">San Francisco 31, LA Rams 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Dallas 22, NY Jets 17</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Washington 24, Denver 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Miami 34, New England 27</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">New Orleans 26, Carolina 20</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Cleveland 24, Pittsburgh 13</div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">NY Giants 23, Arizona 20<br /></div></div></span></div>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-68628812445439634092023-09-14T20:06:00.008-04:002023-09-14T20:06:52.720-04:00The Hoser On The NFL, 2023 Week 2 Thursday Night Edition<p>Just the game tonight - will have a full column up tomorrow or Saturday.</p><p>Minnesota (+7) at PHILADELPHIA (48): The Eagles looked sluggish last week, but you have to think Jalen Hurts will want to post a big night, especially given Philly is already banged up in the backfield. Eagles 29, Vikings 20.<br /></p>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-6699318226736164102023-09-07T15:03:00.004-04:002023-09-07T15:03:52.976-04:00The Hoser On The NFL, 2023 Week One<p>Welcome to Week 1 of the 2023 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where it seems too damned hot to be starting football.<br /><br />I think back to two-a-days in Illinois in the middle of August, 95 degrees and humid, no wind ... and having to do extra windsprints because I failed the Fat Man Run by six seconds. SIX SECONDS. I wasn't fat, damn it, I was slow!<br /><br />The format will stay as it has been for the past – each game
is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta and a $300 Lock of the Week for an
even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we’ll jump the Lock to $500
to keep the number even. We’ll use the lines of the National Score Predictions League each week (available at https://2nspl.com/index.html).<br /><br />Remember
– these picks are just for fun. Using them to make real bets is as advisable as having Hunter Biden hold for you.<br /></p><p><span class="x193iq5w xeuugli x13faqbe x1vvkbs x1xmvt09 x1lliihq x1s928wv xhkezso x1gmr53x x1cpjm7i x1fgarty x1943h6x xudqn12 x3x7a5m x6prxxf xvq8zen xo1l8bm xzsf02u x1yc453h" dir="auto"></span></p><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Detroit (+6.5) at KANSAS CITY (54.5): The Lions are going to be a vastly improved, vastly more entertaining team, and Dan Campbell might be my favourite NFL head coach. It's still Pat Mahomes, though. Chiefs 30, Lions 23.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Carolina (+3.5) at ATLANTA (39.5): The Falcons might be the most improved team in the league. The Panthers ... well, they aren't. Falcons 26, Panthers 13.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Houston (+10) at BALTIMORE (43.5): This game might be rated 18+ for the extreme violence rookie QB C.J. Stroud is likely to endure. Ravens 26, Texans 17.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Cincinnati (-2.5) at CLEVELAND (47): If the Browns are smart, they'll run the ball 50 times. They're not. Bengals 27, Browns 17.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Jacksonville (-4.5) at INDIANAPOLIS (45): I know it's Week One, but this total seems extremely low. This might push for a Lock of the Week. Jaguars 31, Colts 20.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Tampa Bay (+6) at MINNESOTA (45): The Bucs go from Tom Brady to Baker Mayfield, a drop so severe only Vesna Vulovic might be able to fathom it. Vikings 23, Buccaneers 16.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Tennessee (+3) at NEW ORLEANS (41.5): Derrick Henry might be another year older, but now he's got Tyjae Spears to capably spell him. The Titans will be boring, but I smell a bunch of 17-16 wins coming. Titans 20, Saints 17.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">San Francisco (-2.5) at PITTSBURGH (40.5): I have been stocking up on Sam Darnold rookie cards. I'm either a genius or an idiot. Keep your opinions on that to yourself. 49ers 23, Steelers 20.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Arizona (+7) at WASHINGTON (38): Boy, it's not obvious the Cardinals are tanking for Caleb Williams, is it? Didn't Arizona's front office have Johnny Manziel's number? Commanders 27, Cardinals 16.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Green Bay (+1) at CHICAGO (44.5): Have the Bears hired Lori Lightfoot as their new sideline mascot? Too scary for the kids? Bears 23, Packers 20. <br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Las Vegas (+3.5) at DENVER (44): New Broncos head coach Sean Payton has been catching some heat about being too public with some of his opinions, but I think he went too far when he said Bud Light was WAYYY better than Coors Light. Broncos 22, Raiders 20.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Miami (+3) at LA CHARGERS (50.5): There might be more total points in this game than Arizona scores all year. Chargers 31, Dolphins 26.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Philadelphia (-3.5) at NEW ENGLAND (45): I went looking for the latest Patriots news and what did I find - Bill Belichick split up with his girlfriend. I mean, Gisele's still single, right? Eagles 29, Patriots 17.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Los Angeles Rams (+5.5) at SEATTLE (46.5): The Rams continue to pay for mortgaging their future to win a Super Bowl, to which the LA front office just smiles and points at the ring. No Cooper Kupp, either. Seahawks 29, Rams 16.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Dallas (-3.5) at NEW YORK GIANTS (46.5): The Giants at least cover in a game tighter than the skin on Jerry's face. Giants 23, Cowboys 20.<br /></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Buffalo (-2.5) at NEW YORK JETS (46.5): Is Aaron Rodgers even back from Burning Man yet? Bills 24, Jets 20.<br /></div><p></p><p><b>Lock of the Week: </b>Washington <br /><br /><b>Trifecta</b>: Washington, Atlanta, Jacksonville<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />2023 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 0-0<br />Against The Spread: 0-0<br />Lock of the Week: 0-0<br />Trifecta: 0-0<br />Money: $0<br /><br />2023 Week 1 Money Spent: $0<br />2023 Week 11 Money Made: $0<br />2023 Season Money Spent: $0<br />2023 Season Money Made: $0<br />2023 Total: $0</span></p>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-54701821728582797232022-09-24T10:46:00.001-04:002022-09-24T10:46:13.311-04:00A Humble Suggestion For Albert's 700th Ball<p><span class="gvxzyvdx aeinzg81 t7p7dqev gh25dzvf exr7barw b6ax4al1 gem102v4 ncib64c9 mrvwc6qr sx8pxkcf f597kf1v cpcgwwas m2nijcs8 hxfwr5lz k1z55t6l oog5qr5w tes86rjd pbevjfx6 ztn2w49o" dir="auto">This
is a rewrite of a piece I wrote when Barry Bonds broke Hank Aaron's
record. The concept is still the same for Mr. Pujols, though.</span></p><div class="d2hqwtrz o9wcebwi b6ax4al1"><span class="gvxzyvdx aeinzg81 t7p7dqev gh25dzvf exr7barw b6ax4al1 gem102v4 ncib64c9 mrvwc6qr sx8pxkcf f597kf1v cpcgwwas m2nijcs8 hxfwr5lz k1z55t6l oog5qr5w tes86rjd pbevjfx6" dir="auto" lang="en"><div class="m8h3af8h l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Act I, Scene I</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">At
RISE: A young man in a Dodgers jersey stands in front of a boardroom
filled with middle-aged men and women in suits. He shifts from foot to
foot nervously and holds something tightly in his right hand. A
distinguished man at the head of the table clears his throat.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DISTINGUISHED MAN: So, you say you have a proposal for us?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">BALLCATCHER: I do. I'd like you to rent me and this baseball for one year.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">(general murmurs and quiet laughs from around the room)</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DM:
Why would we do that, Mr. Ballcatcher? We are already well regarded in
St. Louis, and Anheuser-Busch's name has been mentioned in the news in
the last seven days more than Post Malone and Taylor Swift combined.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">We've
also discussed the possibility of buying the ball from you and
displaying it in our corporate headquarters, but have rejected that
notion. We feel our customers would view it as wasteful spending.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">BALLCATCHER:
I'm sure that's true, sir, but hear me out. What I'm proposing is a
goodwill tour for the ball and myself, one that would generate
immeasurable publicity and goodwill for Anheuser-Busch at a limited cost
-- a cost of $2M.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">(Startled grunts from those assembled. Murphy holds up the ball and the room settles)</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DM:
Mr. Ballcatcher, did you think we didn't research the value of the
ball? Todd McFarlane's ridiculous $3M purchase of Mark McGwire's 70th is
a thing of the past. We feel you'd be lucky to get $500,000 for that.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">BALLCATCHER:
I think I'd get somewhere in that vicinity, sir, and if you accept my
proposal, that's exactly what I'll get. But I'm not selling you the
ball, as I said. I'm renting it -- and myself -- to you. For one year.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">See,
this whole idea of putting the ball up for auction makes me
uncomfortable. I know it's the best way to get the most value for the
ball -- but what happens to it then? I'm a fan of the game, not some
huckster. I want people to be able to enjoy it in at least some small
part the way I have for the past week.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">That's
why I came to you. For $2M you get the ball -- and me -- for one year.
We tour the U.S., Japan, Sierra Leone, wherever your public relations
staff says we should go. We make a roadshow of it -- let people see the
ball, get close to the ball. Maybe the Hall of Fame would get involved,
make a History of the Homer caravan. Ruth's bat, Baker's cleats,
Reggie's wristbands. And on the side of the semi is "Proudly Presented
by Anheuser-Busch."</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">At
the outset, every newspaper and network in the country, maybe the
world, would run a story about how Anheuser-Busch is taking the ball
around the world. Then each city's papers and stations would cover the
events. You'd get one full year's worth of great publicity.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DM: Intriguing. But you said you wouldn't be selling us the ball. So you'd keep it?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">BALLCATCHER:
No sir. At the end of the tour, you'd have two choices -- donate the
ball to the Hall of Fame, or present it to Pujols before the last home
game of the 2024 season.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">It's
the whole reason I'm doing this. I'd like to get some financial
security out of this -- I'd be foolish not to do so. But I can also help
out baseball, get the ball in the hands of someone who will deserve it
and share it, and possibly help you out in the deal. Where's the
downside?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DM: Why $2M? I thought you said you'd receive around $500,000 if we agreed to your proposal?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">BALLCATCHER:
I would. You would also sign two cheques before I start the tour -- one
in the amount of $500,000 to the charity of Albert's choice, and the
other for $1M to the Negro League Baseball Players Association.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">I do have one other request, though.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DM: What is that?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">BALLCATCHER: I'd like a job in your marketing department.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">DM: (shakes head)</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Pretty slick.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">(turns to rest of room)</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">What do you all think?</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">(heads nod throughout room)</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">Son, I think we have a deal.</div></div><div class="l7ghb35v kjdc1dyq kmwttqpk gh25dzvf jikcssrz"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: start;">(lights fade and curtain closes)</div></div></span></div>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-43030175915739053462011-07-14T16:41:00.002-04:002011-07-14T16:43:55.811-04:00Here at The Hoser, we're starting to ramp up for the start of the NFL season -- well, if there is one -- but for now, here's a little Mayer Hawthorne goodness to enjoy:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.livefromdarylshouse.com/currentep.html?ep_id=58"></a><a href="http://www.livefromdarylshouse.com/currentep.html?ep_id=58"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Mayer on Live At Daryl's House</span></a>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-55569097457012928362011-06-07T21:47:00.004-04:002011-06-07T22:18:56.352-04:00There's been quite a bit of backslapping going on over the NHL's (and temp discipline honcho Mike Murphy's) four-game suspension of Vancouver's Aaron Rome after he concussed Boston's Nathan Horton in Game Three of the Stanley Cup Finals.<br /><br />It's been pointed out only three players have ever been suspended during the Finals, and each of them received a single game. Of course, I haven't taken the time to see if any of those players intentionally attempted (and succeeded) in removing one of their opponents' most valuable pieces for the remainder of the postseason, and in any case, I don't think using the NHL's terrible history of disciplining its players in the measuring stick to use.<br /><br />So forgive me if I don't think the Canucks losing some schlub that doesn't even appear <a href="http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/teams/van/depthchart">on the depth chart</a> matches up properly with the Bruins losing Horton. In fact, I bet there are some Vancouver fans out there who think this is a pretty good trade -- we lose Rome, they lose a player with 17 points in the postseason.<br /><br />How to square things?<br /><br />Pretty simple. Let's go back to the depth charts.<br /><br /><a href="http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/teams/bos/depthchart">According to the Boston chart</a>, Horton is the top-line right winger. For Vancouver, that's Jannik Hansen. So in addition to Rome, the NHL should remove Hansen for the remainder of the Finals.<br /><br />That's not really even enough -- as Hansen has had nowhere near the impact Horton has -- but it's a start. It sends the message that taking a shot at an opponent's head doesn't just mean one of your idiots sits. It means you lose a piece arguably as valuable as the one you took out.<br /><br />As another example, you can decide whether Washington's David Steckel or Tampa Bay's Victor Hedman <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3mrw2eWLOo">gave Sidney Crosby the concussion that sidelined him for most of this season</a>. But do you think either of those players would have done what they did knowing Alexander Ovechkin or Steven Stamkos would sit as long as Crosby?<br /><br />Would it be fair to either Ovy or Stamkos to have to sit? Of course not. But is it fair to any player to have their health and livelihood threatened by some moron who doesn't care about his fellow player's well-being?<br /><br />Under my system, I'm betting coaches might be a bit more interested in making sure their players aren't out headhunting. They might not even put those meatheads on the ice in the first place.<br /><br />And that would definitely be worthy of a little backslapping all around.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-64622370774272217312011-01-22T19:47:00.000-05:002011-01-22T19:58:43.764-05:00Just the scores -- have you ever tried typing paragraphs on a Blackberry?<br /><br /><br />NY Jets (+3.5) at PITTSBURGH (43): We have our fingers (and toes) crossed for Sexy Rexy. Steelers 23, Jets 20.<br /><br />Green Bay (-3.5) at CHICAGO (38): There's a better chance you'd find an honest politician in The Windy City than a victory party on Sunday night. Packers 27, Bears 13.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-78624904260276527392011-01-14T17:50:00.005-05:002011-01-14T18:46:26.954-05:00Whether you view us as extremely lucky or Nostradamus, The Hoser scored a nice hit in calling the Seahawks over the Saints straight up last week. We hit both the upsets, but the Chiefs failed us and the Jets, well, they did to us what they always do to us. We were 3-1 straight up and 2-2 against the spread, but Green Bay was our Lock of the Week.<br /><br />Baltimore (+3.5) at PITTSBURGH (37): It's hard for The Hoser not to be influenced by how much he detests Ray Lewis. Not the football player, just the obnoxious, preening jackass he is. Seriously, have you seen the NFL Network's "Sound FX" show on him? He's like an idiot parrot -- "It's a MAN'S GAME, BABY!!!" -- over and over and over again. <br />Fortunately, we think the Steelers come out on top here again. Ben Roethlisberger seems to find a way to make it work in big games -- too bad we can't say the same for the ladies and motorcycle helmets. However, with the strong defenses and the cold, Baltimore will keep it within a field goal. Steelers 23, Ravens 20.<br /> <br />Green Bay (+2.5) at ATLANTA (43.5): How do you pick against Matt Ryan and the Falcons at home? Well, you do it like this.<br />The Packers have had a passing game all season (except when Aaron Rodgers was seeing Tweetybirds for a week or two). They've now got James Starks to compliment that aerial assault. Green Bay can run wide open if it wants, something the Falcons just can't do.<br />Atlanta beat the Packers by just a field goal a few weeks ago, but Rodgers had double the rushing yardage of anyone else on the team and still threw for more than 300 yards. Book Green Bay for the Super Bowl. Packers 24, Falcons 20.<br /><br />Seattle (+10) at CHICAGO (41): Everyone's been asking us all week -- can the Seahawks do it again? Well, yes, they <span style="font-style:italic;">can</span>. They're hopped up off a huge win, they're getting their running game going, and frankly, the Bears just aren't that good.<br />But being away from home means the loss of a big advantage for the Seahawks. The wild card here is Jay Cutler, who looks like Dan Marino one week and Foster Brooks the next. We expect Mike Martz to do the right thing and hand the ball to Matt Forte a whole bunch.<br />It'll be cold, just enough to make it tough to kick long field goal and maybe cause a fumble or two. That'll keep the score within the big spread, but it also means the end of Seattle season. Bears 19, Seahawks 17.<br /><br />New York Jets (+9) at NEW ENGLAND (44.5): We grudgingly admire Bill Belichick and the Patriots at the same time we hate them. What other franchise does such an amazing job reloading every season? How do they make it work shuffling in defensive replacements and 85 different running backs? C'mon, Danny Woodhead?!?<br />At the same time, we hate the Jets, but we love Rex Ryan. The big mouth, the foot fetish, the comical gut -- bring it on. He's lovable and entertaining.<br />But this really boils down to trying to figure out how New York can possibly slow down Tom Brady. Do you really think he and Belichick can be beaten by a team led by Mark Sanchez?<br />They can't, and they won't be. Patriots 26, Jets 19.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: Seattle</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-56263973107247292342011-01-08T11:40:00.005-05:002011-01-08T13:37:19.733-05:00Yes, we know we've been slacking -- it was the holiday season, give us a break.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New Orleans (-10) at SEATTLE (45):</span> We really wish this was just a half-point higher. All week we've had this weird feeling about the Seahawks -- tough home crowd, coming off an emotional win, finding their running game and perhaps a new leader in Clipboard Jesus. But this will be a closer game than people expect, and damn it, we're taking Seattle. Seahawks 22, Saints 20.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">New York Jets (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS (44.5):</span> We're still pissed about the coverage of the whole Rex Ryan foot fetish thing. Christ, people, the guy likes feet and he loves his wife. Given the divorce rate in this country, better than half of you should be so lucky. Colts 24, Jets 17.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Baltimore (-2.5) at KANSAS CITY (40.5):</span> We have $10 on a 100-1 ticket for the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl. That's not going to happen, and they probably won't even get past the Ravens. And here we were going to take all 12 of you regular readers to the Wynn buffet with the winnings. Ravens 20, Chiefs 19.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Green Bay (+2.5) at PHILADELPHIA (46.5):</span> The Packers will blitz the hell out of Michael Vick and despite his ability to run, he won't be able to target receivers. Take the points. Packers 26, Eagles 23.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: Green Bay</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-53104464738381946992010-12-26T12:06:00.004-05:002010-12-26T12:20:55.567-05:00Detroit (+3.5) at MIAMI (41): Lions 22, Dolphins 20.<br />Minnesota (+14) at PHILADELPHIA (37.5): Eagles 30, Vikings 17.<br />Washington (+6.5) at JACKSONVILLE (45.5): Jaguars 28, Racists 17.<br />San Francisco (+2.5) at ST LOUIS (40): Rams 20, 49ers 16.<br />Seattle (+6) at TAMPA BAY (43.5): Buccaneers 24, Seahawks 17.<br />New England (-7.5) at BUFFALO (45.5): Patriots 24, Bills 21.<br />New York Jets (+2.5) at CHICAGO (36): Bears 20, Jets 16.<br />Baltimore (-3) at CLEVELAND (39.5): Ravens 22, Browns 16.<br />Tennessee (+4) at KANSAS CITY (42.5): Chiefs 26, Titans 19.<br />Indianapolis (-2) at OAKLAND (47): Raiders 29, Colts 26.<br />Houston (-3) at DENVER (49): Texans 23, Broncos 21.<br />New York Giants (+3) at GREEN BAY (43): Packers 24, Giants 20.<br />San Diego (-8) at CINCINNATI (43.5): Chargers 26, Bengals 16.<br />Atlanta (-2) at NEW ORLEANS (49): Falcons 26, Saints 23.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: Detroit<br /><br />Trifecta: Detroit, St. Louis, Oakland</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-9366216553728160052010-12-23T19:07:00.001-05:002010-12-23T19:21:23.190-05:00Carolina (+14) at PITTSBURGH (37.5): Two touchdowns is an awfully big number with an O/U of 37.5. Plus, don't they realize the Panthers are HOT right now?!? Steelers 23, Panthers 13.<br /><br />Full picks will be posted on Saturday evening. Merry Christmas, everyone!Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-13237586005394215192010-12-19T10:58:00.004-05:002010-12-19T11:33:53.543-05:00Kansas City (+3) at ST LOUIS (42.5): Rams 23, Chiefs 22.<br />Houston (+1) at TENNESSEE (47.5): Texans 23, Titans 17.<br />Jacksonville (+4.5) at INDIANAPOLIS (48.5): Colts 24, Jaguars 23.<br />Arizona (+2.5) at CAROLINA (37.5): Cardinals 17, Panthers 13.<br />Cleveland (PK) at CINCINNATI (40.5): Browns 19, Bengals 16. <br />Buffalo (+5) at MIAMI (40.5): Dolphins 21, Bills 17.<br />Philadelphia (+3) at NY GIANTS (47): Eagles 26, Giants 21.<br />Washington (+7.5) at DALLAS (44.5): Cowboys 27, Racists 14.<br />Detroit (+4.5) at TAMPA BAY (43): Buccaneers 23, Lions 20.<br />New Orleans (+2.5) at BALTIMORE (44): Ravens 19, Saints 16.<br />Atlanta (-6) at SEATTLE (46): Falcons 23, Seahawks 20.<br />New York Jets (+4.5) at PITTSBURGH (35.5): Steelers 20, Jets 17.<br />Denver (+7.5) at OAKLAND (41.5): Raiders 26, Broncos 16.<br />Green Bay (+14) at NEW ENGLAND (43.5): Patriots 23, Packers 13.<br />Chicago (-7.5) at MINNESOTA (33): Bears 19, Vikings 13<br /><br />Lock of the Week: Philadelphia<br /><br />Trifecta: Philadelphia, Dallas, OaklandWayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-3756379671032026982010-12-16T20:53:00.000-05:002010-12-16T20:54:18.506-05:00A little late, but I've been watching "The SingOff" -- Chargers 31, 49ers 14.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-71291428579169068592010-12-12T10:33:00.004-05:002010-12-12T10:58:24.995-05:00Oakland (+4) at JACKSONVILLE (41.5): Jaguars 26, Raiders 23.<br />Cincinnati (+9) at PITTSBURGH (39): Steelers 26, Bengals 13.<br />New England (-3) at CHICAGO (37.5): Patriots 16, Bears 10.<br />Cleveland (+1) at BUFFALO (39): Browns 20, Bills 14.<br />Green Bay (-6.5) at DETROIT (46.5): Packers 30, Lions 20.<br />Atlanta (-7) at CAROLINA (41): Falcons 26, Panthers 17.<br />Tampa Bay (-1) at WASHINGTON (40.5): Buccaneers 23, Racists 20.<br />St. Louis (+9.5) at NEW ORLEANS (47): Saints 27, Rams 21.<br />Seattle (+5) at SAN FRANCISCO (41.5): 49ers 23, Seahawks 20.<br />Miami (+5.5) at NY JETS (39): Jets 22, Dolphins 21.<br />Denver (+4.5) at ARIZONA (43.5): Broncos 24, Cardinals 17.<br />Kansas City (+9) at SAN DIEGO (45.5): Chargers 24, Chiefs 21.<br />Philadelphia (-3) at DALLAS (51): Eagles 23, Cowboys 21.<br />Baltimore (-3) at HOUSTON (46): Ravens 24, Texans 20.<br />NY Giants (NL) at MINNESOTA (NA): Giants 23, Vikings 20.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: Kansas City<br />Trifecta: KC, Cleveland, Denver</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-76809160755848982292010-12-05T10:48:00.007-05:002010-12-05T11:17:33.128-05:00Buffalo (+5) at MINNESOTA (43.5): Anyone else think the Vikings might win out? Vikings 24, Bills 20.<br />Cleveland (+5) at MIAMI (43.5): The Dolphins suck at home, and the Browns' running game will make this Peyton's Place. Browns 23, Dolphins 20.<br />Jacksonville (+3) at TENNESSEE (44): Is this the week Chris Johnson stops playing like Arte Johnson? Nope. Jaguars 22, Titans 16.<br />Denver (+8) at KANSAS CITY (48.5): The Chiefs just keep teasing us and our 100-1 $10 ticket. This week should be easy, though. Chiefs 31, Broncos 17.<br />Washington (+7) at NY GIANTS (43): Giants 27, Racists 17.<br />Chicago (+4.5) at DETROIT (43.5): Is Eric Hipple starting this week? Bears 24, Lions 16.<br />San Francisco (+8) at GREEN BAY (41): Packers 27, 49ers 14.<br />New Orleans (-6.5) at CINCINNATI (45): Saints 26, Bengals 17.<br />Atlanta (-3) at TAMPA BAY (43.5): Falcons 23, Buccaneers 19.<br />Oakland (+13) at SAN DIEGO (44.5): Chargers 30, Raiders 20.<br />Carolina (+4.5) at SEATTLE (40): Seahawks 23, Panthers 17.<br />Dallas (+5) at INDIANAPOLIS (47.5): This game scares the hell out of us. It's like thinking about Jerry Jones's face first thing in the morning. Colts 24, Cowboys 21.<br />St. Louis (-3.5) at ARIZONA (44): This game won't be very good, but Derek Anderson's postgame chat might be worth watching. Rams 26, Cardinals 16.<br />Pittsburgh (+3) at BALTIMORE (39): If somehow Ray Lewis and Ben Roethlisberger could end one another's careers on the same play, this would be the best game ever. Ravens 21, Steelers 17.<br />NY Jets (+3.5) at NEW ENGLAND (45): Tom Brady -- hair loss? Maybe. Loss to the Jets. No. Patriots 24, Jets 20.<br /><br />Lock of the Week: Cleveland<br /><br />Trifecta: Cleveland, Green Bay, ChicagoWayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-35712892568424274602010-12-02T17:11:00.002-05:002010-12-02T19:22:51.344-05:00Welcome to Week 13 of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where we're drifting back to Earth a little.<br /><br />We were 7-8 against the spread and 11-4 straight up last week. If that looks a little strange, it's because at the time we put up our picks, there was no line on the Oakland/Miami game, and we never came back to correct that. So, yeah. We did have Chicago as our Lock of the Week (and even picked them straight up) over the Eagles. No kidding -- there was a dog barking outside The Hoser's office most of that night.<br /><br />Awesome.<br /><br />The rest of the picks will go up on Saturday -- this is just the Thursday Night Teaser. See you then!<br /><br />Houston (+8) at PHILADELPHIA (52): It takes a mighty defense like Chicago to slow Michael Vick. The Texans are close -- they have a mighty <span style="font-style:italic;">shitty</span> defense. Eagles 30, Texans 20.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-62867450741422046212010-11-24T15:33:00.016-05:002010-11-25T12:24:27.913-05:00Welcome to Week 12 of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where it seems the colder the weather gets, the hotter we are.<br /><br />The Hoser staff had another solid week, knocking out a 10-6 week against the spread and 12-4 straight up. Atlanta carried our Lock of the Week and New Orleans and Jacksonville both covered to pick up another Trifecta hit. That adds up to a $1,240 profit for the week and almost gets us back to even for the season. It's also means we're a scorching 36-18 ATS for the past four weeks.<br /><br />If we could bottle it, we would.<br /><br />In the "What The Hell Took You So Long?" department, the Vikings finally fired Brad Childress this week. He lost control of this team (with the help of a certain penis-flashing senior citizen) and deserved the axe, but don't feel too bad for him -- he'll go back to his old job being the understudy for Gerald McRainey in local dinner theaters.<br /><br />Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as trying to pull that other drumstick away from your fat Aunt Rita.<br /><br />New England (-6.5) at DETROIT (51): Current Cowboys and former Lions receiver Roy Williams defended Matt Millen's track record as a general manager this week. That's like Lady Gaga saying Madonna's an excellent singer. Patriots 31, Lions 17.<br />New Orleans (-3.5) at DALLAS (51): If Dallas pulls this one out, Jason Garrett should have been working with Helen Keller. Saints 27, Cowboys 21.<br />Cincinnati (+8.5) at NY JETS (43.5): You'd expect T.O. to<br />show up big on Turkey Day, wouldn't you? Jets 23, Bengals 17.<br />Minnesota (+1) at WASHINGTON (43): We're going to watch this game with Green Day's "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" playing over and over in the background. Racists 23, Vikings 21.<br />Pittsburgh (-6) at BUFFALO (43): Expect the Steeler defense to beat the stuffing out of Ryan Fitzpatrick. Steelers 23, Bills 14.<br />Tennessee (+6.5) at HOUSTON (45.5): We're pretty sure that was Opie Cunningham running the Tennessee offense in the fourth quarter last week. Texans 24, Titans 19.<br />Jacksonville (+7.5) at NY GIANTS (44.5): So, which end of the seesaw is Eli on this week? Up, or down? Light meat, or dark (note: we've always preferred the dark)? Giants 24, Jaguars 17.<br />Carolina (+10) at CLEVELAND (37.5): Are the Panthers this bad? Does your mom always make too much food? Browns 21, Panthers 13.<br />BALTIMORE (-7.5) at Tampa Bay (41): A half-point too much. Ravens 20, Buccaneers 13.<br />Philadelphia (-3.5) at CHICAGO (42): Picking the upset here, as we expect the Bears to take a bite out of Michael Vick. Bears 20, Eagles 17.<br />Green Bay (+2) at ATLANTA (47.5): On a weekend dedicated to overeating, it pains us to go against a team named after the meat industry. Falcons 24, Packers 21.<br />Miami (NA) at OAKLAND (NA): No line as of now -- we'll update when it goes up.<br />Kansas City (-1) at SEATTLE (44.5): The Hoser's 100-1 Chiefs Super Bowl ticket is starting to look more and more like a cheque from Bernie Madoff. Seahawks 23, Chiefs 20.<br />St. Louis (+4) at DENVER (44.5): We don't care of the Rams lose the rest of the way -- Steve Spagnuolo deserves some Coach of the Year votes. Broncos 23, Rams 17.<br />San Diego (+3) at INDIANAPOLIS (51.5): We've started a holiday charity in Peyton Manning's honour this year. Send your turkeys to "Let's Give The Colts The Bird" c/o The Hoser. Colts 30, Chargers 26.<br />San Francisco (-1) at ARIZONA (40): Forget the turkey -- if the 49ers drop this, Mike Singletary should get the axe. 49ers 23, Cardinals 19.<br /><br />Lock of the Week: Chicago<br /><br />Trifecta: Chicago, Denver, Seattle<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2010 Week 11 Hoser Picks:<br />Straight Up: 12-4<br />Against The Spread: 10-6<br />Lock of the Week: 1-0<br />Trifecta: 1-0<br />Money: $1,240<br /><br />2010 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 99-63<br />Against The Spread: 88-76-8<br />Lock of the Week: 5-6<br />Trifecta: 2-9<br />Money: $-810<br /><br />2010 Week 11 Money Spent: $15<br />2010 Week 11 Money Made: $0<br />2010 Season Money Spent: $140<br />2010 Season Money Made: $50<br />2010 Total: $-90</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-84524624552617751742010-11-21T10:04:00.003-05:002010-11-21T10:23:29.931-05:00Oakland (+7.5) at PITTSBURGH (40.5): Steelers 23, Raiders 17.<br />Houston (+6.5) at NY JETS (46): Jets 23, Texans 17.<br />Baltimore (-10.5) at CAROLINA (37): Ravens 20, Panthers 13.<br />Washington (+7) at TENNESSEE (44): Titans 23, Racists 17.<br />Detroit (+6.5) at DALLAS (47): Cowboys 30, Lions 16.<br />Green Bay (-3) at MINNESOTA (44): Packers 26, Vikings 21.<br />Buffalo (+4.5) at CINCINNATI (41.5): Bengals 24, Bills 19.<br />Cleveland (+2) at JACKSONVILLE (43): Jaguars 28, Browns 19.<br />Arizona (+8) at KANSAS CITY (43.5): Chiefs 24, Cardinals 13.<br />Seattle (+11.5) at NEW ORLEANS (44.5): Saints 31, Seahawks 13<br />Atlanta (-3) at ST. LOUIS (43): Falcons 24, Rams 16.<br />Tampa Bay (+3) at SAN FRANCISCO (42.5): 49ers 22, Buccaneers 21.<br />Indianapolis (+4) at NEW ENGLAND (50): Patriots 26, Colts 24.<br />NY Giants (+3) at PHILADELPHIA (48): Eagles 24, Giants 23.<br />Denver (+9.5) at SAN DIEGO (50): Chargers 31, Broncos 24.<br /><br />Lock of the Week: Atlanta<br /><br />Trifecta: Atlanta, New Orleans, Jacksonville<br /><br />2010 Week 10 Hoser Picks:<br />Straight Up: 8-6<br />Against The Spread: 6-8<br />Lock of the Week: 1-0<br />Trifecta: 0-1<br />Money: $140<br /><br />2010 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 87-59<br />Against The Spread: 68-70-8<br />Lock of the Week: 4-6<br />Trifecta: 1-9<br />Money: $-2,050<br /><br />2010 Week 10 Money Spent: $0<br />2010 Week 10 Money Made: $0<br />2010 Season Money Spent: $125<br />2010 Season Money Made: $50<br />2010 Total: $-75Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-36584270427916388232010-11-18T19:28:00.003-05:002010-11-18T19:35:46.044-05:00The remainder of The Hoer will be posted tomorrow -- looks like haiku week will have to be postponed until our staff recovers from last week's trade show. We won't say where it was or what trade was involved, but we will say turkey baster, lube and three cheeseburgers.<br /><br />Draw your own conclusions.<br /><br />Tonight's match-up:<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Chicago (+1.5) at MIAMI (39):</span> This looks to be a pretty even match-up, so we'll lean heavily on two factors -- the Dolphins are at home and Jay Cutler sucks when he's pressured. Dolphins 22, Bears 17.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-4355068223032197322010-11-10T23:17:00.005-05:002010-11-11T10:00:38.502-05:00Welcome to Week Ten of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where we’re hotter right now than a turkey in a deep fryer.<br /><br />The Hoser staff knocked it out of the park for the second week in a row, rolling up an incredible 11-2 record against the spread and a 10-3 mark straight up. That’s terrific, but even with a sparkling 20-6 run ATS during the past two weeks, we’re now sitting at exactly .500 for the season. Ouch.<br /><br />Of course, it can’t all be peaches and cream, and the Patriots falling asleep against the Browns cost us the Lock of the Week and our Trifecta. Still, we managed to pick up a couple hundred bucks towards the deep hole we’ve dug ourselves – now we’re just a little more than $2,000 in the red. Can a brother get some stimulus package?<br /><br />Wade Phillips finally got the axe in Dallas, where Jerry Jones’s patience had worn thinner than his lips. Front-runners for the job are Jon Gruden and Bill Cowher, although we fully expect Jones to make an offer to Robert Benigni – he’s already been Pinocchio once.<br /><br />Tune in next week for our annual haiku edition, or ...<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">It comes once a year<br />Your chance to channel your muse<br />So get your poem on!</span><br /><br />... and we’re going to have a contest to boot! Pick the game from Week 11 you’re surest about, then write it up in haiku form along with your prediction of the score and post it either in the comments section of this blog or in The Hoser’s thread on sportsfilter.com. The person coming closest to the actual score of the game they picked will receive a framed piece of their favourite NFL player courtesy of The Hoser and The IceBox Cards & Collectibles in Barrie, ON!<br /><br />Contest entries must be posted either on SportsFilter or this blog in the comments section by Sunday, Nov. 21 by 12:59 EST to be considered. Entries must be a valid haiku (5/7/5 form) and have a complete prediction to be considered.<br /><br />Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as trying to fit “Nantucket” in your haiku.<br /><br />Baltimore (+1.5) at ATLANTA (43.5): It’s just a hunch, but we think Joe Flacco will go Whacco this week. Ravens 26, Falcons 20.<br /><br />Cincinnati (+8) at INDIANAPOLIS (46.5): You get the feeling the Colts could sign three homeless guys outside Lucas Oil Stadium and Peyton Manning would throw each of them a TD pass. Colts 29, Bengals 22.<br /><br />Houston (+1.5) at JACKSONVILLE (50): Most of the stat geeks have this as a dead heat. They’re almost right. Jaguars 27, Texans 24.<br /><br />Tennessee (PK) at MIAMI (41.5): Chad Pennington alert! Chad Pennington alert! Be on the lookout for tons of dump offs, screens and ducks. Titans 23, Dolphins 19.<br /><br />Minnesota (-1) at CHICAGO (40): Take the Vikings – Chicago could still be suffering poutine withdrawal. Vikings 22, Bears 16.<br /><br />Detroit (+3) at BUFFALO (42.5): Apparently, not a lot of faith out there in Drew Stanton. Bills 22, Lions 17.<br /><br />New York Jets (-3) at CLEVELAND (37): Peyton Hillis and two draft picks for Brady Quinn? That’s 10-20 years behind bars in some states. Jets 19, Browns 17.<br /><br />Carolina (+8) at TAMPA BAY (37): Okay, so the Bucs aren’t the best team in the conference – but they’re sure better than the Panthers. Buccaneers 22, Panthers 16.<br /><br />Kansas City (-1) at DENVER (42): Thinking about the Broncos makes us feel like we just got off the Tilt-A-Whirl. Chiefs 23, Broncos 13.<br /><br />St. Louis (+6) at SAN FRANCISCO (38): The good news is, pretty soon Mike Singletary will be able to hook up with Wade Phillips for two-for-one specials at Old Country Buffet. 49ers 17, Rams 16. <br /><br />Seattle (+3) at ARIZONA (41): Shut it down! Cardinals 22, Seahawks 14.<br /><br />Dallas (+13.5) at NY GIANTS (44.5): We’ll miss the facial expressions Wade Phillips’s made on the sideline, but you’d do it too if your boss’s whole arm was up your ass all week. Giants 31, Cowboys 20.<br /><br />New England (+4) at PITTSBURGH (43.5): We have no good read on this game, but it seems like a field goal at most – even at Heinz Field. Steelers 23, Patriots 20.<br /><br />Philadelphia (-3) at WASHINGTON (41.5): The Hoser would be pleased if somehow both these teams could lose. Eagles 24, Racists 17.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: Jacksonville<br /><br />Trifecta: Kansas City, Baltimore, Jacksonville<br /><br />2010 Week Nine Hoser Picks:<br />Straight Up: 10-3<br />Against The Spread: 11-2<br />Lock of the Week: 0-1<br />Trifecta: 0-1<br />Money: $280<br /><br />2010 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 79-53<br />Against The Spread: 62-62-8<br />Lock of the Week: 3-6<br />Trifecta: 1-8<br />Money: $-2,190<br /><br />2010 Week 9 Money Spent: $25<br />2010 Week 9 Money Made: $0<br />2010 Season Money Spent: $125<br />2010 Season Money Made: $50<br />2010 Total: $-75</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The format will stay as it has been – each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta (6:1 odds) and a $300 Lock of the Week for an even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we’ll jump the Lock to $500 to keep the number even. We’ll use Danny Sheridan’s line in the USA Today each week.</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-44795619177564925222010-11-09T09:48:00.002-05:002010-11-09T09:52:03.457-05:00Most likely the best week The Hoser has ever had -- 11-2 against the spread and 10-3 straight up. The bad news is one of the losses was New England in the Lock of the Week.<br /><br />Still, given the way this season has gone, we'll take it and we'll take being 20-6 against the spread during the past two weeks.<br /><br />Haiku week this week!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">2010 Week Nine Hoser Picks:<br />Straight Up: 10-3<br />Against The Spread: 11-2<br />Lock of the Week: 0-1<br />Trifecta: 0-1<br />Money: $280<br /><br />2010 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 79-53<br />Against The Spread: 62-62-8<br />Lock of the Week: 3-6<br />Trifecta: 1-8<br />Money: $-2,190<br /><br />2010 Week 9 Money Spent: $25<br />2010 Week 9 Money Made: $0<br />2010 Season Money Spent: $125<br />2010 Season Money Made: $50<br />2010 Total: $-75</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-6881394017828179242010-11-06T17:56:00.000-04:002010-11-06T17:57:55.193-04:00Welcome to Week Nine of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where the long night is over – at least for now.<br /><br />The Hoser staff finally brought home a winner, hammering out a 9-4 record both against the spread and straight up. We also knocked it out of the park on the extras, picking San Francisco as our Lock of the Week and following it up with a Trifecta score of the 49ers, St. Louis and Tampa Bay. That netted a tidy $1,460 gain – which means we’re now a paltry $2,500 or so in the hole for the season.<br /><br />The week could only have been better had Tennessee been able to score at the end of its loss to the Chargers. We had the Titans +3 and a touchdown would have given us a monster $375 payout on a $5 seven-team parlay. Once again, Norv Turner (and the early loss of Kenny Britt) screws us.<br /><br />The good news for Randy Moss – he has a job in Tennessee. The bad news – every Friday, Titans’ practice is catered by Stuckey’s.<br /><br />In Washington, head coach Mike Shanahan benched Donovan McNabb in favour of Rex Grossman at the end of a loss to the Lions, supposedly for lacking the “cardiovascular fitness” to run the two-minute drill. This is McNabb’s own fault for buying a copy of Albert Haynesworth’s workout video, “Bitching and Moaning to the Oldies.”<br /><br />Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as ranking Jerry Rice ahead of Jim Brown as the best NFL player of all time.<br /><br />Chicago (-2.5) at BUFFALO (41): The game’s in Toronto, but will anyone care after last week’s awesome Argos/Alouettes kickfest? We think not. Bears 23, Bills 20.<br /><br />San Diego (-2.5) at HOUSTON (51): We’ve reached the point of the season where Norv Turner starts dancing around and singing, “It’s the moooost wonderfulll timmmmmeeee of the yearrrrr,” and saves his job again. Chargers 27, Texans 24.<br /><br />New Orleans (-6.5) at CAROLINA (41): We found out this week Saints quarterback Drew Brees apparently has President Barack Obama on speed-dial on his cell phone. Doesn’t he have any running backs stored in there? Saints 30, Panthers 13.<br /><br />Arizona (+9) at MINNESOTA (40.5): It’s pretty sad to think the Vikings have a quarterback with a broken ankle and tendinitis that’s better than both of Phoenix’s QBs combined. Vikings 24, Cardinals 16.<br /><br />Tampa Bay (+8) at ATLANTA (44.5): Bucs head coach Raheem Morris said this week his team is the best in the NFC. That’s the kind of thing that gets a drug-testing policy pushed along. Falcons 23, Buccaneers 17.<br /><br />NY Jets (-4) at DETROIT (41.5): Had the government put Calvin Johnson in charge of rebuilding the Big Three, he’d be done by now and we’d all be flying Jetsons cars. Lions 23, Jets 19.<br /><br />Miami (+5.5) at BALTIMORE (40.5): Do you think Ravens defensive coordinator Greg Mattison has stopped talking about the 34 the Bills hung on them two weeks ago? Neither do we. Ravens 22, Dolphins 17.<br /><br />New England (-5) at CLEVELAND (44): Ahh, another chance for Bill Belichick to embarrass a former protégé. At least Mangini could outdress him if he wanted. Patriots 31, Browns 20.<br /><br />NY Giants (-7) at SEATTLE (41.5): Seattle QB Matt Hasselbeck had put on him last week, he might be seeing triple. With the Seahawks’ receiving corps, however, actually having three of each of them wouldn’t help. Giants 27, Seahawks 19.<br /><br />Kansas City (+2.5) at OAKLAND (40.5): A meaningful game between the Chiefs and the Raiders? Somewhere, primates are becoming airborne from Wayne Campbell’s anus. Raiders 23, Chiefs 20.<br /><br />Indianapolis (+2.5) at PHILADELPHIA (46.5): This, my friends, is what is known as a trap line. Take all that crap you hear about Andy Reid on a bye week and Indy’s injuries, throw it out the window and repeat to yourself, “Peyton Manning, Peyton Manning …” Colts 27, Eagles 23.<br /><br />Dallas (+8) at GREEN BAY (45.5): Dallas hasn’t sucked like this since Debbie was in town. Packers 29, Cowboys 19.<br /><br />Pittsburgh (-4.5) at CINCINNATI (41.5): Boy, having Ocho Cinco AND T.O. has made all the difference, hasn’t it? Steelers 24, Bengals 17.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: New England<br /><br />Trifecta: New England, Oakland, Green Bay<br /><br />2010 Week Eight Hoser Picks:<br />Straight Up: 9-4<br />Against The Spread: 9-4<br />Lock of the Week: 1-0<br />Trifecta: 1-0<br />Money: $1,560<br /><br />2010 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 69-50<br />Against The Spread: 51-60-8<br />Lock of the Week: 3-5<br />Trifecta: 1-7<br />Money: $-2,470<br /><br />2010 Week 8 Money Spent: $20<br />2010 Week 8 Money Made: $0<br />2010 Season Money Spent: $100<br />2010 Season Money Made: $50<br />2010 Total: $-50</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The format will stay as it has been – each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta (6:1 odds) and a $300 Lock of the Week for an even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we’ll jump the Lock to $500 to keep the number even. We’ll use Danny Sheridan’s line in the USA Today each week.</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-10170222811533800592010-11-01T00:09:00.001-04:002010-11-01T00:09:45.738-04:00We did hit the trifecta this week, but the Titans cost us a seven-team parlay where $5 would have brought me $350. Nailed the other six -- screw you, Norv Turner!<br /><br />So far this week we're 8-4 both against the spread and straight up. Maybe there's a little light at the end of the tunnel.Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14454108.post-39535002193035804372010-10-30T17:00:00.001-04:002010-10-30T17:00:58.918-04:00Welcome to Week Eight of the 2010 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where YouTube has us wishing for the return of Terry Tate: Office Linebacker.<br /><br />Last week was completely freaking awful -- again. Just 7-7 straight up and 5-9 against the spread, the only redeeming feature of Week Seven was our ability to grasp Norv Turner’s complete suckitude in the Lock of the Week. Seriously, Chargers fans, how have you not stormed the front office with torches and pitchforks demanding this guy’s head?<br /><br />Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as signing for Fed Ex shipments out of Yemen.<br /><br />Denver (+1.5) at SAN FRANCISCO (41.5): We’d count the Broncos out, but from what we’ve heard, one of their quarterbacks is apparently pretty close with some dude named Jesus. 49ers 24, Broncos 20.<br /><br />Jacksonville (+6.5) at DALLAS (42.5): See above and they’ll win this week, but down the road Jon Kitna doesn’t have a prayer with this group of slags. Cowboys 31, Jaguars 17.<br /><br />Washington (+2.5) at DETROIT (44): The Lions get Matthew Stafford back under center, and we’ll keep betting this is the week the Racists run out of luck. Lions 23, Racists 21.<br /><br />Green Bay (+5.5) at NY JETS (42): Jen Sterger could win this game for the Jets by threatening to show the Packers cell-phone shots of Rex Ryan naked in a pair of Crocs. Jets 23, Packers 20.<br /><br />Carolina (+3) at ST LOUIS (37): There have been some questions about Rams running back Stephen Jackson playing this week after finger surgery. You do realize this guy finished the season with a broken back last year, right? Rams 23, Panthers 14.<br /><br />Miami (+2.5) at CINCINNATI (43.5): The Dolphins will be pissed after getting jobbed in Pittsburgh last week, while the Bengals will be … uhh, the Bengals. Dolphins 22, Bengals 16.<br /><br />Buffalo (+8) at KANSAS CITY (45.5): We heard an excellent question posed this week – how can anyone trust Buffalo’s coaching staff when it couldn’t identify Ryan Fitzpatrick as the starter during this year’s training camp? Chiefs 26, Bills 23.<br /><br />Tampa Bay (+3) at ARIZONA (39.5): We had to read this line two or three times before it sank in – the Bucs are a dog in this game? Dude, when it’s Derek Anderson that supposed gave your team a lift, you’re done. Buccaneers 22, Cardinals 17. <br /><br />Tennessee (+3) at SAN DIEGO (44): Another mystery line – 5-2 vs. 2-5 and it’s a field goal at home? Again, please bear in mind – Norv Turner is involved. Titans 23, Chargers 17. <br /><br />Seattle (+2.5) at OAKLAND (42): We wouldn’t have bet on the Rayyydahhhs scoring 59 points the remainder of the season, but how can we bail on them now? Raiders 26, Seahawks 20.<br /><br />Minnesota (+5) at NEW ENGLAND (44): The question on everyone’s mind is – will Brett play? Our answer is: it doesn’t matter. Patriots 27, Vikings 19.<br /><br />Pittsburgh (PK) at NEW ORLEANS (43.5): You have to figure Ladell Betts is thinking about changing his last name to “Ebony.” Steelers 22, Saints 19.<br /><br />Houston (+5.5) at INDIANAPOLIS (49.5): Yeah, yeah, we know, we know – this ain’t your Daddy’s Texans. Still, in the end it’ll be the Colts saying, “Who’s your daddy?” Colts 27, Texans 20.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Lock of the Week: San Francisco<br /><br />Trifecta: San Francisco, St. Louis, Tampa Bay<br /><br />2010 Week Seven Hoser Picks:<br />Straight Up: 7-7<br />Against The Spread: 5-9<br />Lock of the Week: 1-0<br />Trifecta: 0-1<br />Money: $-40<br /><br />2010 Season Hoser Picks<br />Straight Up: 60-46<br />Against The Spread: 42-56-8<br />Lock of the Week: 2-5<br />Trifecta: 0-7<br />Money: $-4,030<br /><br />2010 Week 6 Money Spent: $20<br />2010 Week 6 Money Made: $0<br />2010 Season Money Spent: $80<br />2010 Season Money Made: $0<br />2010 Total: $-80</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">The format will stay as it has been – each game is $100 ATS, with a $100 Trifecta (6:1 odds) and a $300 Lock of the Week for an even $2K per week. When the bye weeks begin, we’ll jump the Lock to $500 to keep the number even. We’ll use Danny Sheridan’s line in the USA Today each week.</span>Wayne Frazerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01137604043988816190noreply@blogger.com0