Welcome to Week 16 of the 2008 edition of The Hoser's NFL Picks, where we’re wondering how long someone's father could really be stuck dead in the chimney without the family figuring out where he was.

The Hoser went 10-6 straight up and 8-6-2 against the spread in Week 14. We bet Tennessee would rebound in the Lock, however. Not so much.

Remember – these picks are just for fun. Using them to wager money is advisable as booking an appointment with Rod Blagojevich's hair stylist. Merry Christmas, helmet head!

Baltimore (+4.5) at DALLAS -- O/U 39: With both Terrell Owens and Ray Lewis in this game, we'll have to stockpile twice the number of rolled-up socks to throw at the TV. Cowboys 23, Ravens 16.

Pittsburgh (-1.5) at TENNESSEE -- O/U 34.5: From undefeated to underdog -- and deservedly so.

Miami (-4) at KANSAS CITY -- O/U 39.5: It's bad when the most interesting thing happening in Kansas City is whether the boss is quitting or not. Dolphins 23, Chiefs 13.

Arizona (+8) at NEW ENGLAND -- O/U 45.5: Now here's a situation the Cards are used to -- a late-season game with no meaning for them. Patriots 26, Cardinals 20.

Cincinnati (+3) at CLEVELAND -- O/U 32: President Bush has now declared Ohio an official NFL disaster area. Browns 19, Bengals 13.

Philadelphia (-5) at WASHINGTON -- O/U 39: There was a point this season when Jim Zorn was considered an up-and-coming genius, wasn't there? Eagles 31, Racists 17.

San Francisco (-5.5) at ST LOUIS -- O/U 43.5: Mike Singletary has sewn up his job, and Jim Haslett probably doesn't want his. 49ers 24, Rams 20.

Atlanta (+3) at MINNESOTA -- O/U 43.5: Think the Falcons will take Michael Vick back at quarterback? Falcons 21, Vikings 20.

New Orleans (-7) at DETROIT -- O/U 51: Nope, not this week either. Saints 30, Lions 20.

Carolina (+3) at NY GIANTS -- O/U 37.5: Without Brandon and Plaxico, the Giants don't have a shot in the leg. Dark. Sorry. Panthers 21, Giants 20.

NY Jets (-4.5) at SEATTLE -- O/U 43.5: Has anyone ever been as happy to leave an NFL head coaching job as Mike Holmgren probably is? Jets 27, Seahawks 16.

Houston (-7.5) at OAKLAND -- O/U 44: The high point to the Raiders' season was ... well, there really was no high point. Texans 23, Raiders 16.

Buffalo (+7) at DENVER -- O/U 45: Auto workers are losing their jobs and Dick Jauron just got an extension? Broncos 29, Bills 13.

San Diego (+3) at TAMPA BAY -- O/U 43: The Buccaneers really need this game. The Chargers really need ... a lot. Buccaneers 22, Chargers 17.

Green Bay (+4.5) at CHICAGO -- O/U 41: The Packers are still playing? Bears 26, Packers 19.

Lock of the Week: Denver

Trifecta: Denver, Carolina, Philadelphia


Week 15 Results:

Straight Up: 10-6

Against The Spread: 8-6-2

Lock of the Week: 0-1

Trifecta: 0-1

Money Banked: $-240

Season Results:

Straight Up: 142-82

Against The Spread: 107-101-6

Lock of the Week: 9-6

Trifecta: 0-15

Money Count: $-2,370