Definition of a dirtbag

A guy just walked into my store. He says, "My sons just received autographed prints signed to them by Wayne Gretzky. You know, with 'Best wishes' and that sort of thing."

I'm waiting for the question, and he delivers.

"So, how much are they worth?"

I HATE when people ask this question. Dude, your kids were lucky enough to get something signed to them by one of the greatest hockey players of all-time, and you're already asking what you can sell them for?

So I gave him what I tell everyone in that situation.

"If you can find someone with your son's name, it might be valuable to them. Otherwise, it's worth much less than a standard Gretzky auto."

And I got the "Oh, I'm not going to sell them!" line in return, as usual. Right, pal. You just want to know the value so you can put them on your insurance roster.