Down and dirty this week -- no time to be funny!

Chicago at CLEVELAND(-3): Bears, 20, Cleveland 14.
New Orleans at GREEN BAY (-3): Packers 22, New Orleans 20.
Tampa Bay at N.Y. JETS (+3): Bucs 17, Jets 13.
Seattle at ST. LOUIS (-3): Which coach is the bigger moron? In a dead heat, it's ... Mike! Seattle 30, St. Louis 26.
New England at ATLANTA (-2.5): No Michael Vick vs. almost no defense. Take Bill B. Pats 24, Atlanta 21.
Miami at BUFFALO (-2): Kelly Holcomb should have been the starter from Day 1. Bills 27, Dolphins 20.
Baltimore at DETROIT (-1): I think the Ravens got a little of their mojo back last week. Ravens 16, Lions 10.
Tennessee at HOUSTON (-3): At least Houston's D isn't awful ... just awfully tired. Texans 20, Titans 16.
Indianapolis at SAN FRAN (+15): Indy 34, San Fran 13.
Carolina at ARIZONA (+2.5): Panthers 26, Cards 22.
Philadelphia at DALLAS (+3): If you can't score 1st and goal from the one against Oakland, you can't beat Philly. Eagles 30, Cowboys 19.
Washington at DENVER (-6.5): D.C.'s D will keep this close and they'll pull off the upset. Washington 23, Denver 20.
Cincinnati at JACKSONVILLE (-3): Ride, Carson, ride! Cincy 29, Jacksonville 18.
Pittsburgh at SAN DIEGO (-3): Martyball! Chargers 26, Steelers 21.

Lock of the Week: Philadelphia
Trifecta: Philly, Cincy, Baltimore

Week Three, Straight Up: 9-5
Week Three, ATS: 7-7
Week Three, LOTW: 1-0
Week Three, Trifecta: 0-1
Week Three Bank Statement: +$200

Season, Straight Up: 34-28
Season, ATS: 30-30
Season, LOTW: 2-2
Season, Trifecta: 0-4
Season Bank Statement: -$1,000