This is a photo supposedly taken outside a Wal-Mart in Alabama. See if you notice the interesting feature of this redneck tanktop:



If you haven't caught it yet, look at the bottom strap. Yes, that says "Hanes" -- it's a pair of men's underwear. Hey, cheaper than shirts!

China claims the bronze in the men's trampoline with easily the greatest name in Olympic history.

Unlike my wife, who has been glued to the television in hopes of hearing Bob Costas screw up (it's a Canadian thing, apparently), I have only intermittently been watching what I have termed the 2008 Global Ignore Human Right Violations Fest in Beijing.

I have to hand it to the Chinese, though -- they have done a wonderful job with just unlimited funds, absolute control of the people and a blind eye from the rest of the world.

A nice set-up if you can get it.

On the sporting front, I have marveled at American Michael Phelps, who has not so much raced as destroyed his competition in the pool. He's a bit cocky (okay, more than a bit), but as Dizzy Dean once said, "It ain't bragging if you can back it up."

What I don't grasp is the 400-metre individual medley. Why on earth are people still doing the breaststroke, the backstroke and the butterfly? Isn't the point to go as fast as possible?

I mean, does anyone fall out of a boat and think, "Oh my God, I'll have to swim for it!" -- and then starting breaststroking madly?

I would liken it to putting Tyson Gay and the fastest men in the world on a track and then having a 400-metre race where the first 100 metres you skipped, the second 100 you ran backwards, the third 100 you crabwalked and finally got up and ran like hell for the final 100 metres.

Does that make sense?

I'll check in again in a day or two, or after I've had my fill of the NBC commentators trying to make men's basketball not seem like the ridiculous cakewake it will be.

Other notes:

* There's something fascinating about badminton. I think it has to do with how slowly the shuttlecock travels despite the tremendous amount of energy put into to smashing it back and forth. Nearly every shot is reachable, which translates into long rallies -- something I sorely miss in tennis.
* There's also something fascinating about the uniforms worn by female beach volleyball players, but I probably shouldn't discuss it any further.
* I rooted for the Chinese in the men's team gymnastics Monday night. I think collectively they might be the greatest group of athletes in the world, and not just because they seem to be able to withstand banging their junk on various pieces of equipment for long stretches at a time.
* What the hell is wrong with people in Cialis commercials? Does having an erection also make you monumentally stupid (don't answer that, ladies)?

In the current spot, a man and a woman run around a house shutting off an overflowing bathtub, letting out a barking dog, flailing in a submerged front yard and pulling a burnt turkey out of a smoking oven. All that happened at once while you were thinking about having sex? Why were you running a bath at the same time a turkey dinner was about to be finished?

Seriously, they should just take my advice for their ads and take advantage of the double entendre in their brand.

"Need an erection? Cialis."

Edmonton Oilers general manager Kevin Lowe finally fired back at Anaheim Ducks GM (and supposedly soon GM of the Toronto Maple Leafs) Brian Burke.

Read the linked article, and I'll post my thoughts tomorrow.

Houston Astros pitcher Shawn Chacon has been suspended indefinitely following a physical altercation with Astros GM Ed Wade.

You can read the story yourself, but check out this quote from Houston owner Drayton McLane:

"If you shoved a policeman down or any other public servant, can you imagine shoving a principal in a school? It was in full view of several players. Players pulled Chacon and restrained him. There’s absolutely no way. You can’t defy authority. Even if he disagreed with what they wanted him to do, he should have had the courage to sit down and talk to him."

Really, Drayton? You're equating Ed Wade with a policeman? Someone who puts his or her life on the line for public service? Or a principal? Someone who has devoted his or her life to the betterment of children? You're saying the general manager of a baseball team falls in the same category?

Drayton, it sounds like you have a general manager who sucks at handling players, and decided he wanted to play the big man and curse out another grown man in front of everyone else.

I'm not backing Chacon here. He should have gone into the manager's office to discuss whatever needed to be discussed. But Wade just as easily could have turned his back, gone upstairs and cut Chacon loose -- he had already been insubordinate. Instead, Wade pressed the issue and he got dumped on his ass.

One more thing. I hate it when people say you can't defy authority. Bullshit. You can do whatever the hell you like if you a) believe in your own position enough and b) are willing to accept the consequences.

Sounds to me like Chacon is just fine with the outcome.

God love the Barenaked Ladies. This is the first video release off their new children's album, Snacktime. I suggest you rush out forthwith to pick it up, lest your kids hold against you in your old age.

A nationwide furor has erupted over the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation apparently making plans to find a new theme song for Hockey Night In Canada.

Some people are really going overboard in their reaction, calling songwriter Dolores Claman's creation a second national anthem and the CBC traitors. The network has every right to find a new theme if it feels it's being gouged by the rights holders.

However, according to those who hold the copyright to the song, the theme was offered to the CBC at exactly the same price they've been paying in the past -- $500 per usage. However, the CBC insulted them by offering to buy the rights outright at about one-third the value (admittedly, the value assigned by the current rights holders).

Also, CBC Sports executive director Scott Moore is apparently an idiot. Quoted from the linked article:

Example #1:

Mr. Moore said the song is worth less than the rights holders believe because its value is drawn almost entirely from its association with Hockey Night in Canada.

Yes, but you're airing HNIC, which means when you buy it, it will be worth a ton. Anyone else, maybe not. You, a gold mine.

Example #2:

But a bigger stumbling block, Mr. Moore noted, is the ongoing lawsuit Ms. Claman and Mr. Ciccone's firm filed against the CBC in late 2004. The plaintiffs argue the network was using the song beyond the scope of the contract.

“You wouldn't do business with someone who's suing you. So we've offered many different ways to settle that litigation,” he said.

Except that the CBC has already said it made an offer to buy the song. So, in other words, you were attempting to business with the rights holders, and now the optics are that you made a crappy offer, ticked off the other side and are backpedaling like crazy.

I also know I have the option to buy that song as a ringtone. If the rights holders are suing partially for that reason, I think I can figure out who's pocketing the profits.

Pay the nice people, Scott, and make the bad publicity go away.

Sharon Stone is asking, "Was the China quake karma?"

The rest of us are asking, "Sharon Stone's still alive?"

Gotta love the people defending Hillary Clinton on this one.

"Hey, why should I drop out of the race? People get shot, you know!"

Your candidate is a mean-spirited bitch.

I've been asked by nearly all our store's customers who I like in the Stanley Cup Finals starting this week. Considering I had Montreal and San Jose in the Finals at the start of the season, I don't why my opinion would be worth a moldy octopus, but here it is anyway:

Detroit in five.

It hurts me to say that. I grew up in St. Louis cheering for the Blues and hating the Red Wings (many Blues fans hate the Blackhawks, but how can you do anything but pity them? Same thing goes for the Cubs), but Detroit simply has too much firepower for a mediocre Penguins defense.

The reverse isn't true. Pittsburgh has tons of offensive talent, but the Wings can counter with the best defense in the league. As for Marc-Andre Fleury, his coming out party continues, but there will be just too many breakaways and shots from close in for him to do enough.

Next year, Pens fans, next year.

My wife and I were just watching the Democratic presidential primary coverage on CNN, which is only tolerable due to the presence of Anderson Cooper. I find him strong in the two areas I think are most important in a news show host.

First, he's knowledgeable. I don't know whether the man stays up till the wee hours doing his homework or he just absorbs it like a politician absorbs free lobbyist lunches, but Cooper's rarely caught flatfooted.

Second, he's funny. On the rare occasions Cooper is off the mark, he freely admits it and then is quick to poke a little fun at himself. I suppose you could say he takes the job seriously, but doesn't take the job seriously.

I know he also was involved in something called "The Mole", but I have tried to avoid looking into it.

This evening, as the Indiana primary ground to a close, the entire CNN crew was fretting over the slow release of vote totals from Lake County. That area contains Gary, IN, and Hammond, IN, and held the possibility of changing the outcome of the election.

While every other county in the state had reported a sizable chunk of its totals, Lake County had failed to announce anything. Not a sausage.

So while John King, Wolf Blitzer and everyone else did their best to speculate, guess and not-so-guardedly hint at nefarious doings as the reason for the lack of information, some smart cookie got Tom McDermott in a Chicago studio. McDermott is the mayor of Hammond, and he reported that his city's totals had been turned in to Lake County by 7:30 p.m., and, when asked by King, that he had no idea what was taking so long.

In fact, McDermott said (and I'm paraphrasing here, but the words are close):

"I'm not in charge of the dissemination of information by Lake County. All I can do is turn in the results to the county and wait."

McDermott then added he did know Clinton won his city, along with a number of other towns in the area.

When this exchange ended, Blitzer then jumped in with a brilliant question, asking what was taking so long in Lake County. I can only assume Blitzer was either lost in thought at the monumental ridiculousness of his own name.

As I write this, I do not know the outcome of the election, although I think Clinton will hold on for a very narrow victory. Of course, none of this really matters, because 1) Democratic delegates are awarded by the margin of victory, not as a winner-take-all proposition, and 2) Clinton is toast anyway.

Props to King for working that awesome map -- and for the quote of the night in reference to the possibility of Lake County reporting 100% of its vote at once:

"Sometimes you just get a big dump."

Otherwise known as "The Larry King Show."

You can scan through this blog's archives to see my history with our friends at Canadian Tire. It was enough to get me linked onto the CBC Marketplace web site after they did a story on CT "money".

Apparently, my wife didn't think it necessary to quit shopping at Canadian Tire. She doesn't make a habit of it, but I now have an ally in my own house. Here's her story.

This week, my wife went to the CT in Richmond Hill (the same one where I had my fun). A friend of hers is getting married and the couple is registered at Canadian Tire, among other places.

Because she was already in the same plaza, Michelle went in with our two-year-old in tow to look on the registry computer and purchase a wedding gift. Unfortunately, the free-standing computer terminal was down -- it happens.

So she and my daughter head to the customer service desk, where there are several people standing around talking and four or five computer terminals. My wife tells one of the clerks the registry is down and asks if they could look online for her.

She's told no.

A little taken aback, Michelle asks why the clerk can't do this for her and is told she'll have to do it from home. No explanation of why the clerk can't do it, just that she won't. My wife points out she has a child with her and it would make things much easier if the clerk could help her out, and the clerk refused again.

So my wife left, came home, found another store where the couple had registered and later bought a gift for around $125 -- $125 CT could have easily had if the employee had done her job.

Congrats, CT -- two down and around 32 million to go!