Unlike my wife, who has been glued to the television in hopes of hearing Bob Costas screw up (it's a Canadian thing, apparently), I have only intermittently been watching what I have termed the 2008 Global Ignore Human Right Violations Fest in Beijing.

I have to hand it to the Chinese, though -- they have done a wonderful job with just unlimited funds, absolute control of the people and a blind eye from the rest of the world.

A nice set-up if you can get it.

On the sporting front, I have marveled at American Michael Phelps, who has not so much raced as destroyed his competition in the pool. He's a bit cocky (okay, more than a bit), but as Dizzy Dean once said, "It ain't bragging if you can back it up."

What I don't grasp is the 400-metre individual medley. Why on earth are people still doing the breaststroke, the backstroke and the butterfly? Isn't the point to go as fast as possible?

I mean, does anyone fall out of a boat and think, "Oh my God, I'll have to swim for it!" -- and then starting breaststroking madly?

I would liken it to putting Tyson Gay and the fastest men in the world on a track and then having a 400-metre race where the first 100 metres you skipped, the second 100 you ran backwards, the third 100 you crabwalked and finally got up and ran like hell for the final 100 metres.

Does that make sense?

I'll check in again in a day or two, or after I've had my fill of the NBC commentators trying to make men's basketball not seem like the ridiculous cakewake it will be.

Other notes:

* There's something fascinating about badminton. I think it has to do with how slowly the shuttlecock travels despite the tremendous amount of energy put into to smashing it back and forth. Nearly every shot is reachable, which translates into long rallies -- something I sorely miss in tennis.
* There's also something fascinating about the uniforms worn by female beach volleyball players, but I probably shouldn't discuss it any further.
* I rooted for the Chinese in the men's team gymnastics Monday night. I think collectively they might be the greatest group of athletes in the world, and not just because they seem to be able to withstand banging their junk on various pieces of equipment for long stretches at a time.
* What the hell is wrong with people in Cialis commercials? Does having an erection also make you monumentally stupid (don't answer that, ladies)?

In the current spot, a man and a woman run around a house shutting off an overflowing bathtub, letting out a barking dog, flailing in a submerged front yard and pulling a burnt turkey out of a smoking oven. All that happened at once while you were thinking about having sex? Why were you running a bath at the same time a turkey dinner was about to be finished?

Seriously, they should just take my advice for their ads and take advantage of the double entendre in their brand.

"Need an erection? Cialis."