Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Sharon Stone is asking, "Was the China quake karma?"

The rest of us are asking, "Sharon Stone's still alive?"

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Gotta love the people defending Hillary Clinton on this one.

"Hey, why should I drop out of the race? People get shot, you know!"

Your candidate is a mean-spirited bitch.

Friday, May 23, 2008

I've been asked by nearly all our store's customers who I like in the Stanley Cup Finals starting this week. Considering I had Montreal and San Jose in the Finals at the start of the season, I don't why my opinion would be worth a moldy octopus, but here it is anyway:

Detroit in five.

It hurts me to say that. I grew up in St. Louis cheering for the Blues and hating the Red Wings (many Blues fans hate the Blackhawks, but how can you do anything but pity them? Same thing goes for the Cubs), but Detroit simply has too much firepower for a mediocre Penguins defense.

The reverse isn't true. Pittsburgh has tons of offensive talent, but the Wings can counter with the best defense in the league. As for Marc-Andre Fleury, his coming out party continues, but there will be just too many breakaways and shots from close in for him to do enough.

Next year, Pens fans, next year.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

My wife and I were just watching the Democratic presidential primary coverage on CNN, which is only tolerable due to the presence of Anderson Cooper. I find him strong in the two areas I think are most important in a news show host.

First, he's knowledgeable. I don't know whether the man stays up till the wee hours doing his homework or he just absorbs it like a politician absorbs free lobbyist lunches, but Cooper's rarely caught flatfooted.

Second, he's funny. On the rare occasions Cooper is off the mark, he freely admits it and then is quick to poke a little fun at himself. I suppose you could say he takes the job seriously, but doesn't take the job seriously.

I know he also was involved in something called "The Mole", but I have tried to avoid looking into it.

This evening, as the Indiana primary ground to a close, the entire CNN crew was fretting over the slow release of vote totals from Lake County. That area contains Gary, IN, and Hammond, IN, and held the possibility of changing the outcome of the election.

While every other county in the state had reported a sizable chunk of its totals, Lake County had failed to announce anything. Not a sausage.

So while John King, Wolf Blitzer and everyone else did their best to speculate, guess and not-so-guardedly hint at nefarious doings as the reason for the lack of information, some smart cookie got Tom McDermott in a Chicago studio. McDermott is the mayor of Hammond, and he reported that his city's totals had been turned in to Lake County by 7:30 p.m., and, when asked by King, that he had no idea what was taking so long.

In fact, McDermott said (and I'm paraphrasing here, but the words are close):

"I'm not in charge of the dissemination of information by Lake County. All I can do is turn in the results to the county and wait."

McDermott then added he did know Clinton won his city, along with a number of other towns in the area.

When this exchange ended, Blitzer then jumped in with a brilliant question, asking what was taking so long in Lake County. I can only assume Blitzer was either lost in thought at the monumental ridiculousness of his own name.

As I write this, I do not know the outcome of the election, although I think Clinton will hold on for a very narrow victory. Of course, none of this really matters, because 1) Democratic delegates are awarded by the margin of victory, not as a winner-take-all proposition, and 2) Clinton is toast anyway.

Props to King for working that awesome map -- and for the quote of the night in reference to the possibility of Lake County reporting 100% of its vote at once:

"Sometimes you just get a big dump."

Otherwise known as "The Larry King Show."

Saturday, April 26, 2008

You can scan through this blog's archives to see my history with our friends at Canadian Tire. It was enough to get me linked onto the CBC Marketplace web site after they did a story on CT "money".

Apparently, my wife didn't think it necessary to quit shopping at Canadian Tire. She doesn't make a habit of it, but I now have an ally in my own house. Here's her story.

This week, my wife went to the CT in Richmond Hill (the same one where I had my fun). A friend of hers is getting married and the couple is registered at Canadian Tire, among other places.

Because she was already in the same plaza, Michelle went in with our two-year-old in tow to look on the registry computer and purchase a wedding gift. Unfortunately, the free-standing computer terminal was down -- it happens.

So she and my daughter head to the customer service desk, where there are several people standing around talking and four or five computer terminals. My wife tells one of the clerks the registry is down and asks if they could look online for her.

She's told no.

A little taken aback, Michelle asks why the clerk can't do this for her and is told she'll have to do it from home. No explanation of why the clerk can't do it, just that she won't. My wife points out she has a child with her and it would make things much easier if the clerk could help her out, and the clerk refused again.

So my wife left, came home, found another store where the couple had registered and later bought a gift for around $125 -- $125 CT could have easily had if the employee had done her job.

Congrats, CT -- two down and around 32 million to go!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wow. This just makes me really glad for the internet.

Monday, March 31, 2008

I stopped by my bank (TD Canada Trust) on my way home this evening to make a deposit. I have a business account, and when I entered, there was one person in front of me aside from the woman at the window.

Ten minutes later, there were two more people behind me still waiting for the woman to finish up. In addition, there was a grand total of two tellers at the personal windows -- and 16 people waiting in line.

There are two distinct factors at work here:

1) TD needs to put more people on, simple as that. I place no blame whatsoever at the feet of the employees. They worked quickly and were friendly, despite the understandably unfriendly attitudes of the customers who had been waiting for 10-15 minutes.

2) TD needs to take up my idea from an earlier post and start charging people for the amount of time it takes them to do their banking. That one woman -- who appeared to be cashing in several years' worth of change and depositing it in multiple accounts -- took up minutes of not only the teller's time, but also all of us standing there behind her.

Get your house in order before you come to the bank, people -- it's not just your time. And if you don't, you'll pay for it.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Now you tell me why you don't believe in the death penalty.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

According to this morning's Toronto Star, Leafs head coach Paul Maurice plans to continue running goalie Vesa Toskala in the ground. Maurice says Toskala's play has earned him the starts and that right now, the Iron Horse will be "playing important games right till the end."

First off, Maurice should be tipped off by someone that the Leafs stopped playing important games when they lost two in a row to the Devils last week. It's over, and to not accept that is to waste the opportunity to get Andrew Raycroft some work.

Why work Raycroft? Well, suppose Raycroft actually shows something down the stretch, a little spark of his former self. Now, instead of having to buy out his contract, perhaps you can get something for him -- not much, to be sure, but even a sixth-round pick would be better than the buyout.

And if Raycroft doesn't play well, does it matter? It just means the Leafs get a better draft position for next season.

As for Toskala, what good does it do Toronto to continue to run him out? Will Vesa be able to win them every game? Not with this roster -- that's been painfully clear all season. Playing him constantly could get him injured, and wouldn't that be terrific -- have your new No. 1 tear a knee ligament and have to go through an offseason of rehabilitation?

Do the right thing, Paul -- get Razor in the pipes.

I spent much of yesterday being beaten about the face and ears by CNN with the news of New York governor Eliot Spitzer's alleged involvement in a prostitution ring. Seriously, it was like the guy had stolen an election or something.

My wife seemed most shocked that Spitzer had gone to the trouble of having his favourite hooker brought in to Washington, D.C., from New York City. I explained it for her, though.

I mean, have you ever seen the prostitutes in the nation's capital? They make Aileen Wournos look like Charlize Theron. I worked in Washington for a few weeks, and I had all my hookers flown in from Atlanta.

There's no way Spitzer will ever get his political career back on track, either. I could never trust him after his choice of alias at The Mayflower Hotel. I mean, I don't love George Fox or anything, but how could any male New York voter put his faith in Spitzer when he passed up the chance to use Heywood Jablowme, Dick Fitzwell or Wolf Blitzer is beyond me.

Monday, March 10, 2008

I finally became a permanent resident of Canada last week. Oddly enough, after all the incorrect information, misdirection and flat-out incompetence we received, the final step was handled beautifully.

We were given a date to appear at Immigration. We showed up about a half-hour ahead of our appointment and had to sit on the floor. I wasn't sure what to expect -- waterboarding? The secret Canadian handshake?

Instead, my wife and I were called to a small window (pretty much the same as you'd pay your hydro bill), asked a couple of questions and given congratulations. The process took all of 10 minutes, and then we were directed to another window to register for my Social Insurance number. The woman there had some real difficulties in spelling my mother's maiden name, but then, so does everyone else.

I don't feel any differently now that I'm all legal, but I guess I'll have to continue shedding my American ways.

I've already called the local smelter about melting down my hand guns.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

I hate these people.

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